Alright people, it’s Friday.
Let’s get casual.
Here’s the deal:
I’ve been racking my brain all day over what I should blog about for my superabundant audience to keep you guys titillated and entertained but then I was distracted by a nine year old Jewish American Princess telling me I should give up the dream & get married. Also that the reason I am not married is because I don’t wear Juicy suits. Apparently, in this neighborhood, twenty three is really fucking old. And it depressed me more than not being interested in ever seeing Twilight and not being able to date Nick Jonas combined.
And so, to battle this parade of doldrums, I have decided to chronicle what was awesome this week.
I guess it’s like Best Week Ever… only it’s not on VH1, it’s on WordPress and Doug Benson is not going to make hilarious jokes about how my friend Justin looks exactly like the older brother who turns into a vampire in the documentary Twilight is based on, The Lost Boys.
10. Trying to get Ned Hepburn to take me to Nicole Richie’s fashion show by name dropping Richie Panic on Twitter.
I failed miserably. Not even an @reply. But it gave me and Richie a laugh.
Richie Panic… Not Nicole of the same persuasion.
Anyway, this has spurned a new crush on Ned Hepburn for a couple reasons.
1. Boner Party. Enough said.
2. He has Robin Hood (as in the Disney fox [double entendre!]) in his profile pictures on Facebook.
Yes, I went on his fucking Facebook, jesus, I am on the internet eight hours a day !
WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME ?!?!
9. The Tsimfuckis YouTubes
He took them down the next day as well as canceled his Myspace. On the one hand, I feel very sad for this poor feller but on the other hand it’s like, okay, dude, YOU PUT IT ON YOUTUBE.
For all of you ignorants:
Thank you Shawn for helping me ruin lives with that one.
8. The Tomato & Feta Cheese Tart from Elf
YUMMM ! I was lucky enough to spend some time with Joey from Rumspringa at Elf in Echo Park. It was so good I convinced not only the lady next to me to order it but also convinced the waitress that she needed to eat it again. I wish I could accurately display my unbridled enthusiasm via blogs but it’s hard without just looking like I’m yelling.
7. Free Chocolate
I don’t even really like chocolate that much but I do love FREE !
6. Eastbound & Down
I know it’s been over for awhile but I’m still catching up and I have to say, Kenny Powers is my hero. That’s it. You’re Fucking Out, I’m Fucking In really could have been written by Drunk Marissa. Cause Drunk Marissa doesn’t give a fuck / is really, really self-absorbed.
5. Calling All Kids
Every Friday, my partner in coquettish crimes in the city, Esme Wright, and myself hit up the Hyperion Tavern for an esthetically pleasing & entertaining evening with Calling All Kids. With resident DJs Sodapop (anitcon) and Matthewdavid (dublab) and zany visual mind explosion inducers, it’s a guaranteed fun time for all. Kind of like that benefit for Mr. Kite. Sans post mop-tops.
4. Black Devil Doll Unrated Trailer
Alright, so Richie Panic returns to the top ten once again with this first rate link.
Watch. And then @reply him and thank him.
Warning: Don’t watch this at work unless they’re into boobs and blood and massive LOLz.
3. Fol Chen
Saw them last night with Kárin (we’ll get there) at The Echo. These cats are doing something I’ve never seen nor heard really… I can’t really explain it but I can tell you it’s got me pelvic thrustin’ like I’m getting paid for it (new catch phrase, holler). Not only are they just jammin’ anyway, but last night they really won my heart by covering “Sabotage”. Yeah, as in the Beastie Boys song. Talk about sparkling with personality. LISTEN. NOW. PLZ. KTHNX.
2. Kárin Tatoyan
Holy hell, this girl is out of control amazing town. She seriously brought me near tears last night during her performance PLUS totally had my loins tingling with her fancy fabulous sequin get up. If you do not take this suggestion to check her out, you basically are saying you have no taste. So, just do as I say or be condemned as chintzy quack of music loving. PRONTO. HERE. NOW.
1. Ben’s Risotto.
Okay, seriously, I honestly can only describe it as “carb explosion orgasms screaming in Italian in my mouth”. And I proclaim my love for his ungodly masterful cookery here because he doesn’t read my blog. Otherwise, it’d totally ruin my reputation if he knew it was number one.
Now I’m off for another weekend of wins.
Hopefully I’ll get creative before Monday and give you something salacious…
Wait… that’s not the word I was looking for…
OR WAS IT ?!!?!?