Shorts & Stuff, Volume I

21 05 2012

Shorts & Stuff is a summer lifestyle installation brought to you by me!
These are pretty things I love in my life that you should love too.
To see all the pretty things I love daily,
visit Gallivanting & Grass.

Volume I explores some of my favorite things that have been helping me get pumped up for June & beyond– my latest favorite pair “can’t live without” shorts, light teals & lighter wine, subtle tans & surf readings.

[click through for full view]

1. Wildfox Friday Night Shorts

I got these shorts for Coachella & they’ve been impossible to take off since! The color is a perfect light, pastel aqua that goes pristinely with peaches & nudes & tans. Plus, the fringe & the pocket are to die for. I don’t know about you, but I’ve ruined about a zillion tiny men’s Levi’s trying to pull off this same look & at this point, I’m just going to leave it to the professionals.

2. Agent18 Mint Chevron Case

Have you even seen Tumblr in the last year? Everything is zig zagged & mint. So why shouldn’t your phone look just as cute? Agent 18′s cases have been saving my life for almost a year now & I absolute love this one. It matches my whole life & I get a bazillion compliments on it. Not only is it super durable, but the case is still nice & slim so you can fit in your tiny back pockets.

3. Thomas Pynchon’s Inherent Vice

I’m reading this book right now & I love it. It’s about a private investigator stoner-surfer in Gordita Beach (nom de guerre of Pynchon’s actual residence, Manhattan Beach) during the end of the sixties. I’m only about half way through it, but it involves this whole real estate scandal & a bunch of details you can gather from its many detailed summaries from various internet retailers. What I’m here to say is I love it just for the way it’s written. I get high on its obscure & outdated beach slang. I love authors that write like they talk, or rather write from the environment of their characters since I’m pretty positive Pynchon’s other works don’t embody the vernacular of Inherent Vice‘s nearly burnt-out protagonist, Doc Sportello. I also die for Pynchon’s incredible grasp on the art of detail. He spares no adjectives; creating long, looping descriptions that mimic the book’s overall psychedelic & spontaneous nature.

4. Dr. Haushka Lavender Bath

Do you like painkillers? Me too. Do you have them readily available? Me neither. But fear not my friends! We have Dr. Haushka’s Lavender Bath oil. A couple drops of this in a hot tub is like eating half a 660 MG Vicodin, which we can agree is better than no Vicodin at all. And let me just say that before I got this stuff, I was not a “bath person”. In fact, I despised baths & was generally disgusted by the idea of hanging out in my own filth sans jets (because for some reason, jacuzzis on the other hand have always been widely accepted & loved in my life). But Dr. Haushka has changed my life, and for the better. Now I love getting my soak on & listening to music & trying to figure out my summer goals in a cheap notebook.

5. Hawaiian Tropic Island Radiance Tanning Créme

My motto is, summer only ends if you let it. And a very important part of staying summery, is staying even just a little bit tan. Gotta keep that color! This is my absolute favorite self-tanner. It smells awesome & I’ve never had a problem with streaking. The only problem I’m having is finding this stuff. This season my Rite Aid doesn’t have it & I’m beyond pissed.

6. Opala Vinho Verde

This wine is so delicious! It’s super light with just a hint of sparkle, perfect for sunny afternoons spent on blankets in the grass or on your couch with the AC blasting. Either way. I like it all ways actually. You can get it for $8 at Whole Foods.

7. Herschel Pop Quiz Backpack

Guhhh, I don’t have this but I want it so bad so I can tote around all the stuff I have mentioned in this post, plus a bikini & my laptop (you can never be too prepared).

8. White Fence (Tim Presley)

White Fence is capable of quenching any taste you’re thirsty for. With the finest mix of garage, punk & retro influences Tim Presley has put together what is quite possibly one of the best independent bands of our time. I’ve said this probably eight hundred times & I’m sure there are some of you who are like “Get the off this dude’s dick” but here’s the thing, as long as White Fence puts out amazing albums (which they have three of just this year alone), I’m going to be riding the fuck out of them.

9. Stila Silk Shimmer Gloss

Ah! This lip gloss is superb. I’m the kind of person who applies lip gloss every seven to ten minutes so I need something that looks pretty & won’t dry out my lips. This Stila gloss doesn’t lie– it’s mad silky. It makes my lips feel like I could make out forever, which is not really something I have the opportunity to do ever, but I like knowing that under the right set of circumstances, I could fucking kill it.

And then don’t forget…
Iced coffees, patios of all sizes, big floral pillows, cab rides, Apples to Apples, slumber parties, Cruel Intentions, pouring too much tequila & soft white sheets.

What’s been getting you excited for summer?





A Tangent About My Interview With KSPC’s Ari Saperstein (alternatively, “A Tangent About How My Dad Was Right”).

3 05 2012

A couple of weeks ago, I was asked to do an interview with KSPC & I was super stoked. KSPC is the radio station for the Claremont Colleges, a bundle of prestigious private establishments in the town directly next to the one I grew up in, so despite definitely NOT attending them as a student, I definitely felt like, this was my shit. Mostly because I spent a good amount of time in Downtown Claremont at Rhino Records, giving eyes to boys over the stacks of vinyl & unsuccessfully trying to get a job.

So, I go to do this interview.
And I go do interviews like I do everything else:
with a bottle of red wine in my purse.

Look, life is like an earthquake.
You should always be prepared.

Anyway, drinking & talking is what I do best.
When I’m not being recorded.

Because apparently, when I’m recorded
I sound like a babbling bitch with a poor vocabulary.

So, here’s to you, Dad.
You were right.
You’ve always been right.

For all those times I was telling you something that really meant a lot to me
& instead of listening & responding with something constructive you’d say,
“You said ‘like’ sixteen times” & I got super pissed,
I’m just going to say I’m sorry, you were right.

If you still want to listen to me ramble about music, writing & my general shit,
you can listen to right here! ON THIS VERY BLOG!


AND you can download it on iTunes,
which you should do so people think I’m fucking important.

On that note, I am publicly announcing
my new campaign to be a better person & speak like an adult.

I’m not promising anything, but I will say I’m going to make a genuine effort to not talk like such an idiot all the time. That shit is embarrassing. Of the key adjectives I would like my name to be associated with, “smart” is the second or third one & this whole “like” every other word business does not bode well for my ideal word associations.

I also want to take this time to give a huge big thanks & virtual hug to the man himself, Ari Saperstein. I’m still so honored that he even wanted to interview me in the first place. I was– and still am!– genuinely impressed with his mad, mad radio skills. I had so much fun & he did such an excellent job making me sound like a coherent & occasionally charming person that he deserves an award from an association with credibility in the matter. LOVE YOU DUDE!





Wildfox House, Coachella Two Thousand & Twelve

25 04 2012

A couple weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to be invited to stay with my best friends Meredith & Kim at the Wildfox House in Palm Springs for Coachella. I almost peed my pants when it turned out to be one of the original Alexander Homes, complete with a butterfly roof line. No one else cared, I’m fine with it. We didn’t see any live music, but we did drink from noon until 5am, partied our little butts off around pools, rolled around in pristine lawns, had the best slumber parties & quoted Seinfeld in quiet moments.

It was one of those weekends
that made me feel like the luckiest girl in the universe.

Despite my personality being on point while drunk,
my manual focus is still getting used to the lifestyle.

Here are some of the pictures that survived.

Palm Springs, April Two Thousand & Twelve
Wildfox House with my best friends

All photos were taken by me on a late seventies’ Canon AE-1. Feel free to share, just please credit. Visit the set on Flickr here.





Palm Springs, February Two Thousand & Twelve.

20 02 2012

Growing up, my mom would pick us up from school on a cloudy Friday with our bags already packed (unbeknownst to us). We’d speed down the Ten freeway into sunshine & spend the weekend poolside in Palm Springs. My mom can’t stand gray weather, which is probably why I also almost always kill myself if it’s cloudy for more than a couple days:
I’ve been spoiled rotten.

I’m still quite spoiled,
and spend as much time as I can in Palm Springs.

Friends of Dean Martinez, “I Wish You Love”


Palm Springs, February Two Thousand & Twelve
Le Parker Meridien Hotel & Downtown

All photos were taken by me on a late seventies’ Canon AE-1, except the photos of me, which were taken by Dudefriend with his Pentax. Visit the set on Flickr.





In Case You Didn’t See It On All My Other Social Networking Sites.

1 11 2011

My last minute Halloween costume in my traditional “Obscure Television Character Four Of Your Friends Will Get” theme last night, was of course, Casey Klein (Lizzy Caplan) of what should have been everyone in the fucking world’s favorite show, Party Down.

My dream is to one day play a team of sassy sisters alongside Lizzy Caplan. She is one of my favorites. She is hilarious & a natural babe, two of my favorite things. I feel like we’d get along really well & I even once told a producer that she is the only person allowed to portray “Marissa A. Ross” the character.

Yes, that’s a conversation I have had to have.
And it’s stupid because obviously
I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO COULD PORTRAY ME
but I mean, I would concede if Lizzy signed on
(and I had to).

Anyway, I was a great Party Down caterer last night.
Plus it was the perfect accent to my excellent hosting.

I’m not going to tell you which obscure television character I was going to be but then unfortunately didn’t have enough time to complete because you will all steal it & be Molly Shannons next year for Halloween too & I can’t have fans going around & fucking my shit up. #notchill #getoffme #loveu

[Currently Listening 2 Widowspeak]





My Agent18 iPhone Case Is So Sick, I Want To Give One To You Too.

14 10 2011

I got hooked up with this dope Agent18 iPhone SlimShield case in nearly my favorite color, mint. Although, just to be clear, Agent18 calls this color “Brook Green”. I really like it because it’s thin & weirdly, super smooth. Like, satin to the touch. It also matches my purse perfectly so now everyone confuses me for one of those ridiculously coordinated girls, which is hilarious cause I’m never that together.

I got my case the day
I filmed my last Wine Time
& I was mad excited about it,
so here’s an outtake of me acting like a goon about it.

I know, I know.
It’s incredible how deep & insightful I am.
AND HOW GENEROUS!

Actually, okay, Agent18 is the generous one.
I was so beyond thrilled with my mint case,
they gave me one to give away!

Enter my “What does mint mean to you?” contest
to win one of the Brook Green SlimShields for your AT&T iPhone4!

Here’s how to enter:
Follow my Tumblr.
Respond to this post with a photo answer.
Follow Agent18′s Tumblr (don’t worry, it’s actually dope).

A winner will be chosen Sunday night
& announced early next week.

Good luck! xoxo





GPOYW: Oh, Wow, I Am Dobby’s Mom’s Portrait By Ralph Steadman.

28 09 2011

This is probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Taylor Weller painted me! It is just about my favorite thing in the world right now, aside from the amazing photos Kimberley Gordon took of me this past weekend (check them out on my website’s gallery). I love this so much because it reminds me of a Ralph Steadman sketch, totally a bizarre, house-elfish take on this bitch. It’s fabulous. If only in real life I was this tall! I’m hoping I can convince Taylor to send me a signed copy of this dude for my future wine cellar, which will also be adorned with portraits of me & all my friends drinking wine at different wineries. It’s basically going to be a bragging room, and I can’t have a bragging room without my first painting. I feel like that would discredit it.

Taylor has said she’s also going to be doing one of Zissou, which personally, I am WAY MORE excited about. Zissou has only ever drank one drink in his entire life– a “Keith Richards” that he snuck a glass of from underneath a tall couch– and I think that is going to be the real winner.

[Currently Listening 2 Bridge Underwater via Yvynyl]





Tangents & The Times: The Series, Episode Two

3 08 2011

“MARISSA ALIENATES HERSELF PER USUAL”

In a scathing love ballad to Los Angeles, Marissa rants her way to blogging infamy. But being on top has its hazards… mostly at Dudefriend’s expense.





TANGENTS & THE TIMES: EPISODE ONE.

23 06 2011

“MARISSA MAKES A DECISION”

Over a clandestine liquid brunch, Marissa confides in her BFF Alexis that she plans on trying to take her career seriously by moving to New York to start anew — which goes over poorly. Then, Marissa’s ex shows up.





TANGENTSANDTHETIMES.TV

21 04 2011

AND NOW FOR THE MOMENT YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR
THE LAUNCH OF TANGENTSANDTHETIMES.TV!!!

YES, I BOUGHT A .TV
& LET ME TELL YOU
IT IS A LOT MORE THAN A .COM!

People take TV so much more seriously than the internet.

Click on through to check out the promo for my series!





I’M The New Standard, BITCHES.

18 01 2010

Everyone should go check out Clement & Co’s blog & latest installment of We Are The New Standard featuring yours truly & my way cuter animal counterpart, Mr. Zissou RIGHT NOW RIGHT HERE GO GO GO!

I feel truly blessed that these incredibly talented, artistic entrepreneurs felt I was worthy of their evening and even more worthy of the time I know it must have took editing and having to listen to me blabber for hours on end (cause I’ve edited plenty of my own shit & even I wanted to kill myself after listening to the same schtick over & over GAH).

So, the long & short of it,
to Clement & Co. -

Yup.
A big butterfly kitteh filled
& gratitude infused
thank you. <3





LOOK, YOU GUYS!

11 01 2010

THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT !!!
Also mentioned it here but whatevz.
The point is
THIS IS SERIOUSLY LAME.
THERE ARE NO HOMES (or apartments or bungalowz or whateverrr)
TO THE LEFT OF ME IN THIS PICTURE
KEEP THAT IN MIND.
IT’S NOT LIKE SOMEONE WAS LIKE
“OH I WILL JUST PUT THIS OUTSIDE, IN FRONT OF MY ABODE!”
NO.
SOMEONE WAS LIKE
“I AM GOING TO DRIVE MY SHIT HERE AND LEAVE IT! BITCHES!”

WHAT GIVES PEOPLE ?!

I really don’t get it.
It’s like if you’re going to take the time and energy to actually move your shit, like you pick it up and you maneuver it out the living room and through not only the front door, but also the screen door and you jerry-rig it all up in your early nineties Neon then you
take it to the foot of my hill?
My nearly 30% grade hill?
It’s not like it’s a fun thing to park on.
And then you put it where everyone freaking parks so the trash guys can’t get it if they wanted?! I just don’t understand the thought process that goes behind these dumpings!
My hill is not conducive for anything except working your calves!
It just doesn’t seem convenient at allllll.

It also really gets me heated because my place is kept in prime time, all the time.
And I don’t need anybody rolling up thinking I live in a fucking landfill.
This ain’t the set of Ahh! Real Monsters. :(





Dear Lady I Work With Who “Didn’t Have Time” To Approve My Shit,

9 01 2010

I just want you to know, when you sent me that email saying you’d been “busy with meetings since 11 am on Wednesday”, that all I wanted to do was send you back this:

FACEBOOK STATUSES DON'T LIE.

Sure, you’re kinda holding up this project for me,
but I ain’t mad at ‘cha.
Girl, I love shoes too.
But you can’t add me as a friend on Facebook & then lie to me.
Because I will find out.
Facebook knows all.
The internet knows all.
And at our company,
I AM THE INTERNET (bitches).

Little advice from me to you:
get on that list making tip.

Do you think I would have accepted your friend request if I didn’t have a way to hide all the tagged photos of me looking like a poster child for Derelicte?
No, definitely wouldn’t.
Definitely need my “bizness” list and its limited infoz.
Definitely do not need my superiors knowing I spend my nights in a drunken stupor, stealing pills and internet connections from my neighbors, looking like Charlie Day on glue while getting high off the fumes of the acetone used to clean my typewriter and caressing its smooth, cold metal surface with my blazing hot wine cheeks, rolling my tongue in succession with the beautiful hum of my cliche-ly named Selectric which I am not even going to tell you because… well, to be frank, it’s clearly none of your business.
It’d be inappropriate.
And that’s why
YOU ALWAYS MAKE A LIST.

Annyyywayyy,
Looking forward to seeing these shoes that I later read on Facebook are dazzling as well as getting my PDFs approved. See you Monday.

Sincerely,
Marissa A. Ross





Web 2.0 Tidbits, Day One.

16 11 2009

This is the society I want to live in- a society where LOLcat jokes are not only always appropriate but everyone also gets it. The only thing more frustrating than trying to get someone to comprehend I Can Has Cheezburger is trying to explain Twitter to one of my mom’s tennis teammates.

New Favorite Person:
Lee Sean Hepnova. He did a great presentation tonight at Ignite NYC. At Ignite, speakers get twenty slides and fifteen seconds per slide. Lee Sean’s was on “It’s Cool To Be Flat” about 3D designs plaguing world and he had me at an ingeniously placed Phil Spector joke. Watch his slide show (although it lacks his incredible and energetic stage presence) on his website (linked above) and I believe that Ignite will also have the videos up eventually. I suggest to watch them all- everyone who spoke had great things to say about technology, the future and society.

Favorite Thing I Overheard:
“I feel like I’m shopping in H&M.” – Dude behind me during the iPhone music app contest where three volunteers competed to see who could create the best song live from their different apps.

Best Thing I Learned:
Viagra is the only way to get things done in the Arctic (via Tom Haile).
& I’m not talking about boning.
I’m talking about bartering.
Apparently, in Siberia no one gives a damn about conventional economic transactions. You need a pilot? Fuck your cash. There’s no malls in Siberia. They don’t care about your c-notes. They want boners.
Not that I am planning a trip to Santa’s workshop this season but hey, IT’S THE MORE YOU KNOW KIDS.





miss u.

29 10 2009

that’s it.
oh & maybe
<3.
& a little
:( .

affectionately,
marissa

ps. hang out with me on the day to day here.








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