HEY GUYS! I’M DOIN’ MY FIRST READING!
That’s right! I’ve been invited to read one of my blogs
on the same bill as some of the illest bloggers in the game!
Come out Saturday, April 23rd at Mountain Bar
& hear stories from me, my girl Tess Lynch & more!
Can’t wait to see ya’all! oxoxo
I drove behind this smoggy ass bus
for like, five miles to take this picture.
But I thought it was really important.
You see dust drawings on Chevy Astros & Rav4‘s,
but rarely do you see them on the back of Sheriff [fucking] BUSES.
Please zoom in on that shit.
Please note the hand print.
Please note there is probably
a holocaust going on inside that bus
& like, I did nothing to stop it.
I DIDN’T EVEN HONK!!!
But I did post a picture.
So, I mean, i’m doing the best I can.
LA’s mad rough guys!!!
I’m just lucky
to be a small white girl
with a good Dudefriend,
a clean record
&, lol, a Mercedes.
Black Apples: Say It.
Every Monday this Month, the Black Apples are at The Echo & since it’s November & everyone should be all giving & shit, they have joined forces with the Downtown Women’s Center to have charity raffles at each show. The Downtown Women’s Center is a non-profit organization located in the heart of Los Angeles’ Skid Row, that provides more than 50,000 meals, permanent housing, and supportive services to more than 2500 homeless and extremely low-income women annually.
By donating a new pair of gloves, a new winter hat or a $5 contribution, you have the chance to win prizes from Origami Vinyl, Silverlake Wine & many more! The show is free so you should just like consider this the admission & not only help people but also have a chance to win some dope stuff.
I personally will be handling the raffle this evening, as well as on the 15th & 23rd so come on out & listen to some good tunes & me talk on stage for approximately four minutes (total)! I also might be spinning some tunes & you all know how impeccable my taste is sooo, like,
let’s have a little recap as to why you should come hang out:
1. Good music!
2. Good cause!
3. It’s free- aside from your generous donation of $5!
4. There is booze on the premises!
5. MEEEE!!!
So come on out & kick off the holiday season with us! xo 
Zissou is just SO EXCITED for tomorrow,
he just COULD NOT WAIT to get a bath!
In case you somehow forgot, TOMORROW IS HUGE TIME!
TOMORROW IS MY FIRST CURATION AT ORIGAMI VINYL!
FEATURING THE MAAAD BRILLZ MUSICAL STYLINGS OF
ALEX BLEEKER!
JULIAN LYNCH!
& DUCKTAILS!
5PM!
1816 W. SUNSET BLVD! YAY!
For more details & links to these incredible dudes’ music, click here!
Looking forward to seeing you all come out to support these amazingly talented bros who are gracing little ole meeee’s first curation with their performances! I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world and am so thankful for the blogosphere and text messages from Alex while Brody was driving for making all this possible. It is truly incredible that these musicians, all of whom I have greatly admired for sometime, are coming to play this show. It’s going to be a good time. And if you don’t show, well, more party punch for us.
Yes, you’re still literate!
What you read,
WAS IN FACT
CORRECT!
ALEX BLEEKER
+
JULIAN LYNCH
AND NOW
+
DUCKTAILS!!!
TUESDAY JUNE 15!
1816 WEST SUNSET BLVD!
& for the record, Zissou was just acting.
Zissou loves Ducktails & is so excited for the show!
He got paid in Shredded Mexican Mix Kraft Cheese to say that shit.
& I mean, on the real, how can you blame him for NOT resisting that offer?
I can’t even resist a good Cheddar/Jack mix.
COME COME COMEEEE!!!
yeah. baby. ooo. yeah.
SEE YOU THERE! WIIINKZ!
Once upon a time,
a couple weeks ago,
I was drunk at Origami Vinyl‘s Record Club when I remembered that when I was drunk with the Underwater Peoples‘, er, people they were encouraging me to curate some shit and at the time I was like LOL but then, in the low light of El Prado, shootin’ the shit with my homies Neil & Sean, I decided that yes, with the great musicians I love and have been fortunate enough to befriend, I should curate some shows & Origami should help me out.
Luckily, they actually took me seriously & now I very excitedly give you this:
This show will be a mega pre-party for
Real Estate & Kurt Vile at the Echoplex!
I’m planning on making some party punch & having a very lovely late afternoon with some of my favorite musicians, their incredible fan base & hopefully some of my favorite friends & readers alike.
So, PLEASE COME!
Tuesday, June 15th at 5pm
at Origami Vinyl in Echo Park!
If you are unfamiliar with
Alex Bleeker (leader of The Freaks, bassist for Real Estate)
or Julian Lynch (ethnomusicology prodigy),
I suggest you GET REAL, first off,
& secondly, check them out!
You can find many of their tracks available for download on the myriad of music blogs, many of which you can find links to right here on this here website!
Just right there, to the right! Yeah!
But you can also check out their MySpaces
(cause bands are still the only ones who are allowed to respectfully use them):
Alex Bleeker & The Freaks
Julian Lynch
Both have albums currently out & I suggest you get them (at my show).
That’s what smart/cool people would do, I’m pretty sure.
I will also be giving out FREE AUTOGRAPHS THIS ONE TIME,
so don’t fuck it up.
LOL I’m jkjkjk!
But seriously.
I am very honored to have these two incredibly talented gents, who I personally have admired for sometime now, as my first guests and I hope that you can come out and support their tour of the West Coast.
I’m sure for the next two weeks I will be endlessly thanking Alex, Julian, Sean & Neil and Underwater Peoples but just to start it off, mad thanks to Alex, Julian, Sean & Neil and Underwater Peoples for giving me the chance to showcase some of my favorite music at one of my favorite spots & thank you in advance to the masses of people who are going to come.
Means a lot to me + my future empire.
I am confused.
I am scared.
I am so WTF’d out.
WHO WOULD SET THE TACO ZONE ON FIRE ?!
WHAT KIND OF SOULLESS SELFISH JUVENILE JUGGERNAUT PRICK WOULD DO SUCH A THING ?!
Someone who obviously has NO appreciation for delicious Mexican fourth meals.
There’s been rumors as to who may be to attribute these atrocities to.
Joshua says the Mexican Mafia.
I don’t think this makes sense. Why would they want to burn down the best taco truck in all of Los Angeles? Wouldn’t they want to keep eating delicious food of their native lands? That’s preposterous. Taco Zone’s delectable edibles taste almost as good as the real thing- Mexican babies.
Richie Panic says it was Ned Hepburn.
This is also just silly. If you follow Ned on Twitter then you will see an @reply to me (turn that fail into a WIN) and in it he explicitly states he wants tacos. Why would he burn down Taco Zone? Unless it’s all a part of some elaborate and evil plot to make me think we’re going to get tacos when really he’s a fucking taco hater.
Who hates tacos?
Obviously Richie is just being silly because he doesn’t like other men taking up my blog spaces although few men can occupy my heart spaces like a good Richie Panic.
Shawn says right-wing fundamentalist Christian terrorists.
This is the only one that seems likely thus far. My reasoning is because fundamentalist Christians hate everyone. They hate Mexicans. They hate gays. They hate me (ie: Myspace default pic). So, this is the only logical answer.
Fuck the police.
You’ve got Marissa A. Ross (& Shawn) on the case and after evaluating all options, it is offical.
I’ve found the dudes.
Alright, so, now that I’ve supplied you with the culprits,
it’s YOUR CIVIL DUTY TO LOS ANGELES TO TRACK THESE CATS DOWN !
I’m thinking, we should refried bean and cheese them then let rabid badgers eat them alive in the town square (intersection at Alvarado & Sunset) .
My civil duty was to blog about it.
I’m also going to over extend myself and also blog about the bean/cheese/lynching/munching of the offenders of all things sterling and scrumptious.
You’re welcome.
At any rate, I’m not too worried about Taco Zone. I think it will return full force in no time.
Feeding the poor pretentious “artisans” roaming the late night streets of Echo Park is far too lucrative of a gig for those cats to go back to picking strawberries.
In their memorandum, I dedicate this song to the dutiful craftspeople of the outstanding, the legendary, the irreplaceable, the unforgettable, the FUCKING BEST TACO TRUCK EVER…
YEAH, THIS ONE…
THIS ONE GOES OUT TO
TACO ZONE !!!
TACO ZONE WILL RISE FROM THE ASHES
& WIN AT TACOS AGAIN !!!
What’s really sad… is I didn’t just find this song.
I actually know it.
I owned this cd.
We’re bonding right now, dude.
I hope your loins are tingling.
Cauuuuuuse mine totally are. <3
As I foreshadowed in my previous entry, here is my one year in LA commemorative vid.
Yep.
YOU ! THANK YOU !
On the really real if you ever ran into me in the RL and you said, “Hey, you’re welcome”, I’d probably “Err… What” and then you’d respond with “Oh, for thanking me for reading and watching”, I would probably hug you in a big way because you’d be giving my heart a colossal boner.
& that’s not a joke nor a silly edited picture of Color Me Badd.
True luffz, fuh’sho.
All wackiness aside, I cannot believe it’s been a year.
A gloriously successful and megalomaniacal year !
I used to hate LA. Hard.
Now I love it. So good.
So many successes championed.
So many dreams actualized.
So many blogs fulfilled.
If my first year here has been this productive and small-timely triumphant, I can see my second year being full of moderate to massive personal/business trounces.
I’m really excited.
I hope you are too.
<3
The end / beginning of the year was pretty crazy for me and I sorta slacked off and my priorities got a little messed up. I was moving and spending time with my family instead of keeping up with my favorite bands’ tour dates and subsequently, I missed out on getting tickets to see Animal Collective this weekend.
I went on Craig’s List thinking I could find a respectable person who would give me a reasonable & appropriate price for a ticket for either night.
You know what I found?
RAPISTS.
Yes, people are raping each other
all over Craig’s List for Animal Collective tickets.
I do not know who decided (an average) $150
was a fitting expenditure but apparently that is the market.
My response: FUCK THAT NOISE.
It’s not like that money is contributing to Animal Collective.
It’s contributing to some hipster-rapist’s Little Joy tab !!!
Do you know what you could do with that kind of money
& an affinity for Animal Collective ?!
Well, mister, let me tell you !
You could purchase Animal Collective’s entire discography (seven LPs, three EPs, two singles) on Itunes for $90.68.
And maybe you’re not that into them, so you could just get all the LPs on Itunes for $70.85.
Maybe you’re too good for MP3s. Maybe you’re one of those cats that needs the tangible album art. If that is the case, you can buy the entire Animal Collective discography on Compact Disc on Amazon.com for $138.77.
Maybe you don’t want to look like you just got into AnCo and like flipping through leaflets, you could get the whole discography already loved on Amazon.com for $85.72.
Or if you’re just into them but I mean, you don’t think they’re like the next Radiohead or anything, you could just get the LPs on Amazon.com too: $99.87 spankin’ new, $65.89 slightly scratched.
But maybe you are way too eclectic for the likes of these newfangled forms of music. Maybe you hate Ipods because you’re anti-commercialism. Maybe you think CDs don’t capture the real essence of music. Maybe you’re way too authentic for all that and you need vinyls.
Well, you can get all their vinyls as virgins on Amazon.com for $123.85.
And if you don’t want to look like you jumped on the bandwagon, you can get the thrown out conversation pieces for $118.44.
(Please keep in mind that only Merriweather Post Pavilion, Strawberry Jam, Feels, Water Curses EP/single and People EP have vinyl pressings and only the Water Curses EP/single and Strawberry Jam have used vinyls so really, I mean, it’s kind of pointless to buy them used unless you’re trying to save money but if you’re poor you probably shouldn’t be on Amazon.com to begin with, you should probably grow up, realize rock ‘n roll is a young man’s game and go get a job.)
And let’s say you have a new bitchin’ bf/gf you need to reeeeally impress to keep their polyester-clad ass around, you could always get the imported versions of Merriwether Post Pavilion, Strawberry Jam and Feels fresh off the boat for $119.96 or $104.92 a bit worn and weathered.
Or if you want to be super unique and ironic
and really get an “OMG” out of people,
you could always get some Rob Gordon idolizing, perverse Panda Bear obsessing, mistakenly homeless, hopeless romantic kid in Echo Park to take his whole Animal Collective discography and record it onto Cassette Tapes for you.
All for the small price of your unrequited love.
& maybe some misleading late night texts.
I slaved for countless hours on a Casio calculator
to tell you
AnCo FANS, YOU HAVE OPTIONS !!!!
And all those alternatives still leave room
to buy a case of PBR to enjoy all your Animal Collective authentic-ness with !!!
And that’s only the Animal Collective discography options.
I left out the detailed report with the cocaine and hookers.
In short,
Support Animal Collective
Not Silverlake Scalpers.
What is Kao Pao Shu?
Well, it’s the line of young, innovative designer Naida Begeta, of course. She’s only 28 and she’s already made it in Milan and is HUGE in Japan. And no, that’s not a joke. She really is big in Japan. But don’t get confused. She’s from Bosnia and Kao Pao Shu is derived from the female Kung-Fu film star of the same name.
Naida’s hand-made pieces range from edgy and accessibly avant-garde full length coats, dresses, jackets and bags all out of RIBBONS to absurdly comfortable double layered Italian jersey dresses, shirts and skirts all printed with her original sketches. The flagship store opened this summer in Los Angeles and the designs are already popping up on New York’s red carpet just this past week.
Naama Settle, in a Kao Pao Shu golden ribbon gown, at the Gossip Girl Season Two Premiere in NYC, August Twenty-Fourth.
Yours truly, in a Kao Pao Shu jersey dress, at the Kao Pao Shu open house in LA, August Fifteenth.
Check out her work @ kao pao shu . it
On The Campaign Trail
Apparently, the McCain camp is launching a new tv ad that basically compares Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. This seems like a silly tactic for a couple reasons. One is that for the intelligent citizens of the states, this is ludicrous. How could anyone, for or against him, put Obama on the same level as butterfly for brains celebutantes and burnt-out mentally ill pop singers ? Secondly, the dumber portion of our population would probably love Obama for being like the false idols that adorn their treasured trash-talking tabloids and other forms of lecherous literature and reality tv. This escapade makes McCain look pretty desperate and a bit spooked. I would be too if my opponent was emblazoned on Obey T-Shirts.
Shia LEBayuf
Within the half hour that I saw Shia’s truck pieces on Ebay and decided to write about it, the price went from seven hundred & fifty to over fifteen hundred. What will the lucky winner get ?
Wow.
For those of you who don’t watch CNN (because that’s how I found out about this obviously imperative happening in the world), Shia LaBeouf crashed his truck Sunday morning, much to the stoked-ness of a nearby resident who is now going to make a couple month’s worth of rent off of someone’s mistake.
“Like the moronic driving-challenged Hollywood geniuses of the past… Paris, Nicole, Britney, Brandy, Lindsay, Mischa, Kiefer… now comes the one with the dumbest name of them all… Shia! Own a piece of his shame.” – Ebay user dvsinla.
Because only dumb people who are celebrities drive drunk or crash cars. Right. I got two traffic tickets last Thursday and I have about eight parking tickets I need to pay. I’m selling them for what I owe the city of LA plus ten bones. If you’d like a piece of my history, it is readily available- contact me at marissaaross@yahoo.com. Thanks.
Pot Progress
“The U.S. should stop arresting responsible marijuana users, Rep. Barney Frank said Wednesday, announcing a proposal to end federal penalties for Americans carrying fewer than 100 grams, almost a quarter-pound, of the substance.” – CNN
Uh, can I get a hell yeah son ? This Frank character has some good ideas. I like his style.
“The vast amount of human activity ought to be none of the government’s business. I don’t think it is the government’s business to tell you how to spend your leisure time.” – Rep. Barney Frank
Allen St. Pierre from the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws also made a great point:
“We do not arrest and jail responsible alcohol drinkers.”
Exactly. And alcohol and cigarettes, both very much legal and loved, kill more people every year than pot has in its existence. Yet pot is a Schedule 1 substance and cigarettes are sold to high school seniors. It makes a lot of sense.
F**k the P…aparazzi?
Also in the news, LA is looking to crack down on… the paparazzi. Gangs ? Drugs ? Elderly abusers ? Old news. The paparazzi’s days of irresponsible snap-shotting are over !!! And hopefully TMZ will subsequently get shut down as well as US Weekly and Tiger Beat.
Well, not Tiger Beat.
Everyone loves Tiger Beat.
- from the onion.
About Extreme Makeover Home Going into Forclosure:
“‘It’s aggravating. It just makes you mad. You do that much work, and they just squander it,’ Lake City Mayor Willie Oswalt, who helped vault a massive beam into place in the Harper’s living room, told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution.”
I really hope he is a victim of the media and that someone cut out the part where he showed a little compassion. We are basically going to into DII.
It seriously annoys me that ever since Bennifer or whatever, it seems every time I turn around some celeb couple has been morphed into a grisly compound word. Brangelina ? Speidi ? Honestly ?
I would say I really don’t like Jessica Biel but I know I’m just jealous.
I swear cute animal videos are the number one searched videos because everyone is stoned.
On that note, Youtube should implement some sort of test to determine who should be allowed to waste up all the internet with Rhianna slide shows.
Automatic fails: Kittens doing nothing, another panda sneezing, eight year olds with web cams and use of “Soulja Boy”.
This does not look like a panda.
But I still want to snuggle down.
Absolut vodka is getting a star on the Walk of Fame for contributing a hefty chunk of cash to to “Friends of the Walk of Fame” project. And we wonder why everyone knows at least four alcoholics.
LA is outlawing plastic bags. In 2010, you either have to bring a bag or pay fifteen cents per bag. Styrofoam is also getting dispatched. It’s just like R.W.Taylor said, “Going green is the new cocaine.” Oh, c’mon. You know you’re riding that train too.
There was an earthquake today !!!!!!!!!!
I’m glad no one ever looks through my Safari’s history. I wouldn’t look like a perv or a stalker, just seriously a bona fide weirdo.
And I know someone out there will read all this and laugh and feel a little bit better about themselves… at my expense.
Cheers.
heh heh heh… Ohhh, you crazy clever little government advertising marketing directors !
