“Era of Post-Irony” Clarification (Natural vs. Contrived).

4 01 2009

Alright, as many of you know I’ve been on a big END IRONY NOW ! kick.

Last night, I read an article my good friend Tammy wrote for the Examiner which was about my statements about irony “being on it’s way out”. I suggest you all read the article. I enjoyed it and agreed with Tammy’s thoughts which has prompted me to further explain my “post-ironic” ideology.

Just like Tammy, I do believe irony is one of the essentials of life. I find it incredibly entertaining, humbling and enjoyable in my every day life. I see it all the time and I love it. It inspires me on a regular basis and comprises the majority of my artistic endeavors and pleasures.

For example, yesterday Sabah, Brett and myself went to out for lunch. One of my biggest pet peeves in the entire world is when I finished eating fifteen minutes ago and my empty plate is still in front of me- taunting me, teasing me, reminding me of the smorgasbord I just stuffed through my gluttonous face that is now churning in my stomach. It disgusts me to no end and just makes me want to leave a horrendous tip for the shitty service- another pet peeve of mine. Anyway, so I’m starting to get antsy about the sixteen plates on the table and how they’ve been empty and untouched for at least eleven minutes and how the god damned waiter has walked by at least eight times and no one has taken these voracious reminders out of my fucking face when the waiter FINALLY decides it’s time to take them away.

He takes all of them… EXCEPT MINE.
WTF.

Okay, see now that is an example of natural irony.
And natural irony is good irony. You see, no one told the waiter to not clear my plate. He didn’t hear me say I hated when my plate wasn’t cleared. Just for some unknown reason he did not take my plate. That’s funny. That’s the kind of thing I write down in a notebook for safe keeping until I can insert it into some project I’m working on. That is a natural comedic device of the universe’s and I love it, appreciate it and hold it dear to my heart (however frustrating staring at my empty vermicelli bowl the size of Dodger stadium was). Natural irony reminds me I’m exactly where I need to be in life. Natural irony is what makes life fun. Natural irony comprises important pieces of this puzzle we call life and we need it to grow as people and to remember not to take everything so damn seriously, including ourselves.

Now the problem is that we have been living in an era of contrived irony- where people do things because it’s “funny” or “unexpected”. It’s using irony as a trend. It is annoying because it is happening at the will of some hipster who is trying to make a statement of some sort. I now expect everyone to be wearing what my parents were wearing twenty years ago. I expect you to wear that holiday sweater in March. I expect you to carry a briefcase even though you work at Out of The Closet. I expect you to have a stupid mustache that didn’t look good in ’85 and doesn’t look good now. I expect you not to shower and I expect you to quote obscure songs in every day conversation and I expect you to act a lot sleezier than you are and I expect to see your titties on HRO.
YOU DON’T SURPRISE ME.

Contrived irony IS on it’s way out. It NEEDS to be on it’s way out. Because contrived irony only distracts us from real irony- the kind of irony that is sparkling and inspiring. The kind of irony reminds us all to have a sense of humor. The kind that reminds us that there is something beyond ourselves connecting us all. The kind that reminds us that we’re human.

Turds on LastNightsParty wearing sunglasses at night and bow ties and ripped stockings and hearing aids … not so much.

Natural Irony = Seinfeld.
(Art inspired by satirical situations in life.)
Contrived Irony = Silverlake.
(Bullshit created by degenerates trying to differentiate themselves.)

I support Practicality & Natural Irony in ’09.
As well as Tammy blogging on the Examiner.com.
And you should support these things too.





Making Irony A Reality.

19 12 2008

I am tired of irony. I mean, I am a fan of the actual device “irony” but it has been drawn out and beaten like a dead horse. I am tired of people wearing things because it’s “funny”. I am tired of guys looking like they are going to go break Megan’s laws. I am tired of girls who look like the spawn of Dov Charney and my first grade teacher. I am tired of glasses without lenses. Look, trying to make granny panties that stick out of your jeans acceptable by writing “Yes, these are my underwear” in Sharpie still means you’re wearing granny panties and granny panties are not ironic. They’re unattractive, a lot like mom jeans.

Irony is a dead end street. There already is a Wes Anderson. There is already a Miranda July. That’s all there is to it.

But there are some of us in the counter culture that can actually find ways to turn irony into a reality (& subsequently, it will no longer be ironic but that’s a side note for me to rejoice over and you people who are still fingering yourself with irony to ignore).

I give you, Adam Weiss:
A success story in Irony.

When I first met Adam, he was growing out his ‘stache to look “sleezy”. He accomplished he “sleezy” look also with additions of a denim vest, a drunken disposition by 2pm and a harem of barely-legals down to snort blow off his nipples. But what makes this horrifying lifestyle acceptable is the fact he is a porn meta-tagger. That’s right. He works from home watching porn videos for hours on end, tagging them with “cum shot” or “fake tits” and titling them. You know, like “Adam Sandler Sodemizes Samoan Sluts” or something.

The point is, he is earning the right to have a have that ‘stache. He is earning the right to drink as much PBR as he wants and you damn well better believe he is EARNING the right to wear denim vests.

Because a dude that drinks PBR with a denim vest
would be meta-tagging porn for a living.
That’s not irony.
THAT’S REALITY !

I believe that everyone who is not ready to accept the Era of Post-Irony (which I believe will be an era of practicality, where things we do make sense), CAN make a reality out of their irony.

BE a photographer !
BE a pre-school teacher !
BE an aerobics instructor !
BE a cocaine addict !
BE an MTV VJ !
BE homeless !

Just stop being ironic, start being real.

I felt compelled to post a picture of “The Real World” but that shit is fake too.
Is it so much to want to live in a world of genuineness ?!?!

Yes. Yes it is.
So, I’m adding it to my Xmas list.





Austin Powers & Post Irony

24 11 2008

international man of mystery or silverlake resident?

Hipsters: One crushed velvet pair of pants away from Austin D. Powers.

1. He’s a “photographer”– meaning he shags a lot of bitches by telling them he wants to “take pictures” of them.

photographer

2. Loves his ladies in lame or body suits (ie: Vanessa Kensington).

babe in lame

3. Looks like Roman Polanski and acts like a flamboyant post-metro nineteen year old with an ego that demands epic musical introductions.

4. He’s been really working on his personal brand, with plenty of catch-phrases and signature moves.

5. Loves to Video Chat (you may recall Austin logging onto AOL to video chat with Basil Exposition).

basil exposition

The ones who don’t turn into Austin Powers are likely to become:
1. Daft Punk
2. The Gin Blossoms
3. MC Hammer

The only upside:
The end of the ironic-seventies bullshit, with the complete dissolution of anything done “because it’s funny”. Funny to who ? Funny to that heroin addict that also saw that obscure seventies porn you’re doing a homage to by wearing that ridiculous denim vest ? And your mustache is creepy.

And take off that silly ass hat.








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