Volume I explores some of my favorite things that have been helping me get pumped up for June & beyond– my latest favorite pair “can’t live without” shorts, light teals & lighter wine, subtle tans & surf readings.

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1. Wildfox Friday Night Shorts

I got these shorts for Coachella & they’ve been impossible to take off since! The color is a perfect light, pastel aqua that goes pristinely with peaches & nudes & tans. Plus, the fringe & the pocket are to die for. I don’t know about you, but I’ve ruined about a zillion tiny men’s Levi’s trying to pull off this same look & at this point, I’m just going to leave it to the professionals.

2. Agent18 Mint Chevron Case

Have you even seen Tumblr in the last year? Everything is zig zagged & mint. So why shouldn’t your phone look just as cute? Agent 18′s cases have been saving my life for almost a year now & I absolute love this one. It matches my whole life & I get a bazillion compliments on it. Not only is it super durable, but the case is still nice & slim so you can fit in your tiny back pockets.

3. Thomas Pynchon’s Inherent Vice

I’m reading this book right now & I love it. It’s about a private investigator stoner-surfer in Gordita Beach (nom de guerre of Pynchon’s actual residence, Manhattan Beach) during the end of the sixties. I’m only about half way through it, but it involves this whole real estate scandal & a bunch of details you can gather from its many detailed summaries from various internet retailers. What I’m here to say is I love it just for the way it’s written. I get high on its obscure & outdated beach slang. I love authors that write like they talk, or rather how their characters talk since I’m pretty positive Pynchon’s other works don’t embody the voice of Inherent Vice‘s nearly burnt-out protagonist, Doc Sportello. I also die for Pynchon’s incredible grasp on the art of detail. He spares no adjectives; creating long, looping descriptions that mimic the book’s overall psychedelic & spontaneous nature.

4. Dr. Haushka Lavender Bath

Do you like painkillers? Me too. Do you have them readily available? Me neither. But fear not my friends! We have Dr. Haushka’s Lavender Bath oil. A couple drops of this in a hot tub is like eating half a 660 MG Vicodin, which we can agree is better than no Vicodin at all. And let me just say that before I got this stuff, I was not a “bath person”. In fact, I despised baths & was generally disgusted by the idea of hanging out in my own filth sans jets (because for some reason, jacuzzis on the other hand have always been widely accepted & loved in my life). But Dr. Haushka has changed my life, and for the better. Now I love getting my soak on & listening to music & trying to figure out my summer goals in a cheap notebook.

5. Hawaiian Tropic Island Radiance Tanning Créme

My motto is, summer only ends if you let it. And a very important part of staying summery, is staying even just a little bit tan. Gotta keep that color! This is my absolute favorite self-tanner. It smells awesome & I’ve never had a problem with streaking. The only problem I’m having is finding this stuff. This season my Rite Aid doesn’t have it & I’m beyond pissed.

6. Opala Vinho Verde

This wine is so delicious! It’s super light with just a hint of sparkle, perfect for sunny afternoons spent on blankets in the grass or on your couch with the AC blasting. Either way. I like it all ways actually. You can get it for $8 at Whole Foods.

7. Herschel Pop Quiz Backpack

Guhhh, I don’t have this but I want it so bad so I can tote around all the stuff I have mentioned in this post, plus a bikini & my laptop (you can never be too prepared).

8. White Fence (Tim Presley)

White Fence is capable of quenching any taste you’re thirsty for. With the finest mix of garage, punk & retro influences Tim Presley has put together what is quite possibly one of the best independent bands of our time. I’ve said this probably eight hundred times & I’m sure there are some of you who are like “Get the off this dude’s dick” but here’s the thing, as long as White Fence puts out amazing albums (which they have three of just this year alone), I’m going to be riding the fuck out of them.

9. Stila Silk Shimmer Gloss

Ah! This lip gloss is superb. I’m the kind of person who applies lip gloss every seven to ten minutes so I need something that looks pretty & won’t dry out my lips. This Stila gloss doesn’t lie– it’s mad silky. It makes my lips feel like I could make out forever, which is not really something I have the opportunity to do ever, but I like knowing that under the right set of circumstances, I could fucking kill it.

And then don’t forget…
Iced coffees, patios of all sizes, big floral pillows, cab rides, Apples to Apples, slumber parties, Cruel Intentions, pouring too much tequila & soft white sheets.

What’s been getting you excited for summer?

For those of you have been living in dressing rooms of Kohl’s or something for the past five or so years, Gorilla vs. Bear is probably the most influential music blog of all time. Yes, there is Pitchfork but that’s a website & this is a blog, one dude’s personal opinion that ended up shaping & spawning a whole community of music blogs. I can honestly thank Chris Cantalini personally for introducing me to much of my favorite music, particularly between 2009-2011, when beachy pop & chill wave ruled the universe & I was in heaven.

And the best part of it is, Chris is not a pretentious dipshit.
He’s a really nice, cool dude who loves music & basketball.
I’m truly honored he thought of me & that I get to rep this hard.

Very excited to add this staple to my Spring style. It’s one of those amazing American Apparel track shirts so you know it’s super soft & the retro inspired graphic is top notch. I’m wearing a small & it fits perfect. #STOKED

Grab your own & show your love for music & animal fights at GVB’s store!

Well, I remember that.
And the only thing more awesome than that
was last Thursday’s launch for Pretty Penny Stock,
which I attended via a gracious invite from POP Studio.

Pretty Penny Stock is the new lady line from the incredible brand Penny Stock. All the collections (men, women & kids!) are absolutely irresistible with nautical influence, featuring breezy yet silhouetted shapes & light-weight textiles that totally scream for summer. Honestly, with all the Sofia Rosé I was clobbering, POP was lucky I didn’t abscond off with the whole lot of it. I thought about. I think I thought about it maybe even two or twenty times but instead, I preoccupied myself with more Rosé, bugging John Moore & hogging the photobooth.

Not only was I lucky enough to talk Slim Aarons with Moore & the POP gang, but I also ran into my pals Grasie Mercedes & Mr. Kate and of course, flipped a lot of shit off with my BFF Meredith. It was one of the best events I’ve ever gone to.

I can’t wait for POP to host another party or a gallery opening
or maybe just an office meeting I can crash or something.

That last photo booth picture reminds me of what should be a movie poster for like, some American Pie movie or something. I picked the photo that best showcased me as what would be like the Jennifer Love-Hewitt character although we all know that IRL, I was the “crazy blogger girl”.

No, really, that’s how I was greeted at this party.
“Hey, you’re the crazy blogger girl!” – John Moore

I’ll take it.

[Currently Listening 2 TOPS]

Anyway, all this purse nonsense kind of got me thinking about how purses are kinda stupid anyway, like trying to find a cute one and shit. It all really stresses me out and to be honest, it’s like I don’t even really neeeed a purse. When I go out it’s like I just bring my card & some lip gloss & maybe my cell phone if I feel a bout of social anxiety coming on & may need to start Tweeting and it’s not like I’m ever NOT wearing some sort of baggy shorts with little things called fucking POCKETS.

And what have purses ever really done for me
except get bitches jealous
& confuse bros?

So, I’ve decided instead of buying a new purse,
I’m just going to start carrying around twelve packs.

I mean, girl, really, have you ever been on Sunset & gotten like nine hundred catcalls from a fucking purse like you have from a twelve pack of Tecate on the Saturday of a Dodger Game?
Hell no you haven’t!

Plus, this will save you from buying beer wherever you’re going or save you the humiliation of flirting with assholes so they’ll buy you a beer. I mean, I really think I am onto something here!

And if you’re like
I DON’T DREEENK BEER
with like this sort of thing goin’:

Well then you are obviously not used to thinking outside the box.

Because maybe you don’t drink beer but like a lot of people do.
This will make you way more fucking popular than some new… I don’t even know what’s “cool” anymore but even if you just go buy like nine bags from H&M that match like everything you own for like two dollars a piece because Taiwanese toddlers sewed them together with their teeth, you’re still going to look so much cooler with a twelve pack.

…

…

…

LOL.
OKAY SORRY GUYS.
I CAN’T KEEP THIS UP LOL!
I don’t really care at all about purses
or purses making people look cool at all.
I do care about me not looking like such an alcoholic
walking back & forth from the liquor store four times a day.

I’m still going to consider it a fashion statement.

& today they released their spring 2010 vid.

They are honestly the most comfortable & most adorable shirts EVERRR !!!

You know how some people have a “good side”?
Well, I only have “good tees”.
& they are Wildfox tees.
Seriously, it’s the only way I’ll be photographed.
I’d show you but then in like two days once I’ve done laundry again you’d see me in one, you’d be like, “zomg doesn’t she have anything else to wear, my mom was right she’s SUCH A BUM.”
& yes, mothers usually are right
but on the inside, I know you’d be jealous.

But the great thing is, you don’t have to be jealous because you,
YES, YOU!
Can get your own Wildfox right huuuurrrrrr.

I’m starting a gang, it’s called xWILDFOXxCOREx
& all we do is look fucking classy
supporting awesome girls with impeccable taste
reppin’ their bangin’ tshirts.
Let me know if you’re in, I’ll put you on the mailer. xoxoxo

Well, have no fear.
Because you can get all up onz anyone and be safe and fancy fabulous.
At the 4th Annual China Reproductive Health New Technologies & Products Expo in Beijing July eleventh, Two-Thousand & Seven, the Chinese debuted another amazing advancement in fashion and well-being…

CONDOM DRESSES !

Talk about no excuses.

I think these are totally fitting not only for an impregnable hot night out on the town but every day. Especially during summer. You could totally walk through the sprinklers. And they made sun hats and swim suits ! No matter where you’re going, they’ve got you covered (as well as your dude).

With the holidays upon us, it seems very fitting for Kao Pao Shu to release their “I Wish…” Lookbook. The lookbook features new… well, looks from designer Naida Begeta. You can see the influence of Los Angeles on the line as she creates quirky and quixotic designs of mini skirts and dresses. The line is also infused with new patterns and bright colors that meld the palate of the “Stripe Up Yourself” collection with the design of the “Dress Up Yourself” collection.

I think this is my favorite page:

The skirts/dresses have this amazing bubbly effect, so cute & fun yet completely elegant.
Gahhh, I want one so bad for the holidays !
I wish I wish I wish….

Well, it’s the line of young, innovative designer Naida Begeta, of course. She’s only 28 and she’s already made it in Milan and is HUGE in Japan. And no, that’s not a joke. She really is big in Japan. But don’t get confused. She’s from Bosnia and Kao Pao Shu is derived from the female Kung-Fu film star of the same name.

Naida’s hand-made pieces range from edgy and accessibly avant-garde full length coats, dresses, jackets and bags all out of RIBBONS to absurdly comfortable double layered Italian jersey dresses, shirts and skirts all printed with her original sketches. The flagship store opened this summer in Los Angeles and the designs are already popping up on New York’s red carpet just this past week.

Naama Settle, in a Kao Pao Shu golden ribbon gown, at the Gossip Girl Season Two Premiere in NYC, August Twenty-Fourth.

Yours truly, in a Kao Pao Shu jersey dress, at the Kao Pao Shu open house in LA, August Fifteenth.

Check out her work @ kao pao shu . it

But what defines what a “woman” should look like? From what I’ve gathered, the consensus is that they should look mature- mentally and physically. Full-figured with the wisdom of at least a couple years of college life around their eyes; they look their age. They look like they are old enough to have had a relationship or two, that they’ve had a couple rolls in the hay and could eventually pop out a couple little rascals. Granted, that is how the majority of women do look. I can see how one would be upset with the constant barrage of five-ten, a hundred and two pound girls because it’s just not realistic.

I’m not five-ten, just breaking a hundred pounds but I’m also just fitting into the bras my mom bought me in seventh grade. I’m not even exaggerating. I’m twenty-two and rather petite. I wear little to no makeup and I am commonly mistaken for a seventeen year old. I don’t look like what mostly everyone else thinks a woman should look like. I’m skinny but not tall, curvy but without much filling. I’m not Gemma Ward and I’m not Catherine Zeta Jones and I look like I’m in high school. Does this mean I shouldn’t feel sexy ? That it is wrong for others to look at me that way ?

I fall in between the cracks of the media and the general public and right into the niche of American Apparel, which is why I sheepishly sort of like their ads.

American Apparel is shitted on because of their use of women that look young. But women who look young are still women. And most women want to feel beautiful and desirable. I don’t necessarily get my jollies off on the xxx-esque photo shoots but these women they use make me feel more confident about myself– that girls that don’t wear make-up, that don’t have huge tits and who look young can still be deemed as sexy. I feel weirdly better about myself looking at one of their ads, knowing that there are people who think this person is beautiful in all her plain and childlike glory. There are people out there who think that women who look like me are captivating.

I understand that I may be a part of a small percentage but does that mean I shouldn’t be represented the same way that full-figured women want to be represented ?

Now I want to address some of the issues
I can see a flock of feminists or other radicals bringing up:

1. Yes, I see how these ads could be detrimental to girls and their self-esteem. But telling girls that look like me that they should look more like Scarlett Johansson can be just as harmful. It’s a lose-lose situation. Someone is always going to feel ostracized.

2. Yes, I understand that some of their ads could be assessed as being sexually suggestive and inappropriate for youngsters. But humans are naturally sexual beings. Why do you think they give sex education in elementary school? Because everyone knows the little raggamuffins are wacking off already. If you really want to save the children’s minds, turn off Sponge Bob Square Pants. American Apparel ads don’t promote ill manners, irresponsibility, general retardation or recreational drug use. Cartoons on the other hand… oy vei.

3. No, I don’t support child pornography or anything that could be seen on Law & Order: SVU.

4. Yes, I realize these women are being objectified but before there were “career women”, back when all this universe barabajargal went down, women were put here to get down and pump out a population. It is not all that mind-boggling that this is why sex sells. I don’t necessarily like it but I accept it for what it is.

5. No, you f-off !

And the point above all points is to remember this is a business. My friend last night was talking about how before the racy campaigns, they focused on being sweatshop free which no one gave a crap about. They are here to sell cotton basics. The morals didn’t work and the tried and true immoral tactics always do. So, Mission Accomplished.

Now, where is my gold lamae unitard ?