A Tangent About Purses & Beer.

13 07 2010

I really need a new purse. This is going to sound kinda bitchy & I’m totally not meaning for it to but all I have are these designer bags from when I was actually kind of a bitch and it’s like, yeah, these Gucci totes are still really useful but then again it’s also like if I have to hear Dudefriend make fun of my monograms one more time I might MelGib him.

Anyway, all this purse nonsense kind of got me thinking about how purses are kinda stupid anyway, like trying to find a cute one and shit. It all really stresses me out and to be honest, it’s like I don’t even really neeeed a purse. When I go out it’s like I just bring my card & some lip gloss & maybe my cell phone if I feel a bout of social anxiety coming on & may need to start Tweeting and it’s not like I’m ever NOT wearing some sort of baggy shorts with little things called fucking POCKETS.

And what have purses ever really done for me
except get bitches jealous
& confuse bros?

So, I’ve decided instead of buying a new purse,
I’m just going to start carrying around twelve packs.

I mean, girl, really, have you ever been on Sunset & gotten like nine hundred catcalls from a fucking purse like you have from a twelve pack of Tecate on the Saturday of a Dodger Game?
Hell no you haven’t!

Plus, this will save you from buying beer wherever you’re going or save you the humiliation of flirting with assholes so they’ll buy you a beer. I mean, I really think I am onto something here!

And if you’re like
I DON’T DREEENK BEER
with like this sort of thing goin’:

Well then you are obviously not used to thinking outside the box.

Because maybe you don’t drink beer but like a lot of people do.
This will make you way more fucking popular than some new… I don’t even know what’s “cool” anymore but even if you just go buy like nine bags from H&M that match like everything you own for like two dollars a piece because Taiwanese toddlers sewed them together with their teeth, you’re still going to look so much cooler with a twelve pack.

LOL.
OKAY SORRY GUYS.
I CAN’T KEEP THIS UP LOL!
I don’t really care at all about purses
or purses making people look cool at all.
I do care about me not looking like such an alcoholic
walking back & forth from the liquor store four times a day.

I’m still going to consider it a fashion statement.





Now I’m Gonna Let You Finish But…

9 12 2009

WILDFOX IS THE BEST CLOTHING LINE EVERRRR !!!

& today they released their spring 2010 vid.

They are honestly the most comfortable & most adorable shirts EVERRR !!!

You know how some people have a “good side”?
Well, I only have “good tees”.
& they are Wildfox tees.
Seriously, it’s the only way I’ll be photographed.
I’d show you but then in like two days once I’ve done laundry again you’d see me in one, you’d be like, “zomg doesn’t she have anything else to wear, my mom was right she’s SUCH A BUM.”
& yes, mothers usually are right
but on the inside, I know you’d be jealous.

But the great thing is, you don’t have to be jealous because you,
YES, YOU!
Can get your own Wildfox right huuuurrrrrr.

I’m starting a gang, it’s called xWILDFOXxCOREx
& all we do is look fucking classy
supporting awesome girls with impeccable taste
reppin’ their bangin’ tshirts.
Let me know if you’re in, I’ll put you on the mailer. xoxoxo





All The Single Ladies…

20 03 2009

So, maybe you’ve been up in the club. Maybe you’ve just broke up. Maybe you’re doing your own new thing. Maybe another brother notices you and you’re up on him and he’s up on you and then you remember HE MIGHT HAVE HERPES !!!

Well, have no fear.
Because you can get all up onz anyone and be safe and fancy fabulous.
At the 4th Annual China Reproductive Health New Technologies & Products Expo in Beijing July eleventh, Two-Thousand & Seven, the Chinese debuted another amazing advancement in fashion and well-being…

CONDOM DRESSES !

Talk about no excuses.

I think these are totally fitting not only for an impregnable hot night out on the town but every day. Especially during summer. You could totally walk through the sprinklers. And they made sun hats and swim suits ! No matter where you’re going, they’ve got you covered (as well as your dude).





Kao Pao Shu’s “I Wish…” Lookbook

20 11 2008

lookbook cover
[clicky click clickster mcclickerton that ^^^]

With the holidays upon us, it seems very fitting for Kao Pao Shu to release their “I Wish…” Lookbook. The lookbook features new… well, looks from designer Naida Begeta. You can see the influence of Los Angeles on the line as she creates quirky and quixotic designs of mini skirts and dresses. The line is also infused with new patterns and bright colors that meld the palate of the “Stripe Up Yourself” collection with the design of the “Dress Up Yourself” collection.

I think this is my favorite page:
kao pao shu lookbook

The skirts/dresses have this amazing bubbly effect, so cute & fun yet completely elegant.
Gahhh, I want one so bad for the holidays !
I wish I wish I wish…. :D





Kao Pao Shu!

27 08 2008

What is Kao Pao Shu?

Well, it’s the line of young, innovative designer Naida Begeta, of course. She’s only 28 and she’s already made it in Milan and is HUGE in Japan. And no, that’s not a joke. She really is big in Japan. But don’t get confused. She’s from Bosnia and Kao Pao Shu is derived from the female Kung-Fu film star of the same name.

Naida’s hand-made pieces range from edgy and accessibly avant-garde full length coats, dresses, jackets and bags all out of RIBBONS to absurdly comfortable double layered Italian jersey dresses, shirts and skirts all printed with her original sketches. The flagship store opened this summer in Los Angeles and the designs are already popping up on New York’s red carpet just this past week.


Naama Settle, in a Kao Pao Shu golden ribbon gown, at the Gossip Girl Season Two Premiere in NYC, August Twenty-Fourth.


Yours truly, in a Kao Pao Shu jersey dress, at the Kao Pao Shu open house in LA, August Fifteenth.

Check out her work @ kao pao shu . it





Young Women

31 07 2008

I have recently become reacquainted with a gent I went to high school with. He now is an “Internet Strategist” for American Apparel. Last night, a heated debate broke out in my room between my roommate and him. She had some qualms with American Apparel’s marketing tactics, which tend to lean towards a seventies inspired porn theme. Her main point was it was wrong for them to over-sexualize pre-pubescent looking girls and the same old same old fashion industry gripe that it negatively influences society, that they should use women who look like women.

But what defines what a “woman” should look like? From what I’ve gathered, the consensus is that they should look mature- mentally and physically. Full-figured with the wisdom of at least a couple years of college life around their eyes; they look their age. They look like they are old enough to have had a relationship or two, that they’ve had a couple rolls in the hay and could eventually pop out a couple little rascals. Granted, that is how the majority of women do look. I can see how one would be upset with the constant barrage of five-ten, a hundred and two pound girls because it’s just not realistic.

I’m not five-ten, just breaking a hundred pounds but I’m also just fitting into the bras my mom bought me in seventh grade. I’m not even exaggerating. I’m twenty-two and rather petite. I wear little to no makeup and I am commonly mistaken for a seventeen year old. I don’t look like what mostly everyone else thinks a woman should look like. I’m skinny but not tall, curvy but without much filling. I’m not Gemma Ward and I’m not Catherine Zeta Jones and I look like I’m in high school. Does this mean I shouldn’t feel sexy ? That it is wrong for others to look at me that way ?

I fall in between the cracks of the media and the general public and right into the niche of American Apparel, which is why I like their ads.

American Apparel is shitted on because of their use of women that look young. But women who look young are still women. And most women want to feel beautiful and desirable. I don’t necessarily get my jollies off on the xxx-esque photo-shoots but these women they use make me feel more confident about myself- that girls that don’t wear make-up, that don’t have huge tits and who look young can still be deemed as sexy. I feel good about myself looking at one of their ads, knowing that there are people who think this person is beautiful in all her plain and childlike glory. There are people out there who think that women who look like me are captivating.

I understand that I may be a part of a small percentage but does that mean I shouldn’t be represented the same way that full-figured women want to be represented ?

Now I want to address some of the issues I can see a flock of feminists or other radicals bringing up:
1. Yes, I see how these ads could be detrimental to girls and their self-esteem. But telling girls that look like me that they should look more like Scarlett Johansson can be just as harmful. It’s a lose-lose situation. Someone is always going to feel ostracized.

2. Yes, I understand that some of their ads could be assessed as being sexually suggestive and inappropriate for youngsters. But humans are naturally sexual beings. Why do you think they give sex education in elementary school? Because everyone knows the little raggamuffins are wacking off already. If you really want to save the children’s minds, turn off Sponge Bob Square Pants. American Apparel ads don’t promote ill manners, irresponsibility, general retardation or recreational drug use. Cartoons on the other hand… oy vei.

3. No, I don’t support child pornography or anything that could be seen on Law & Order: SVU.

4. Yes, I realize these women are being objectified but before there were “career women”, back when all this universe barabajargal went down, women were put here to get down and pump out a population. It is not all that mind-boggling that this is why sex sells. I don’t necessarily like it but I accept it for what it is.

5. No, you f-off !

And the point above all points is to remember this is a business. My friend last night was talking about how before the racy campaigns, they focused on being sweatshop free which no one gave a crap about. They are here to sell cotton basics. The morals didn’t work and the tried and true immoral tactics always do. So, Mission Accomplished.

Now, where is my gold lamae unitard ?