A Tangent About Dog Shit.

14 09 2010

I’m feeling very uninspired today. I look around & it’s all like, oh, Taylor Momsen looking bitchy & Tim Gunn being like “she’s bitchy” and Glenn Beck is still a sexist piece of shit and oh, Lady Gaga went shopping in a butcher’s shop and people still give a shit about that stupid ass Russian spy broad and I think some people had to vote about stuff today… I don’t know. I just know that JWOWW’s dad is like from outer space or something.

The only inspiring thing that happened today was
Zissou pissing on all the other dogs’ shit on our front lawn.
Like, he seriously goes to every shit that isn’t his
& makes a point to piss on it.
Now that’s letting some fools know what’s up,
since me giving our neighbors dirty looks
doesn’t seem to be keeping their dogs from shitting on my lawn.

It just sucks cause the townhomes across the way have banned dogs from their front lawn area with some stupid ass Dreamworks lookin’ cartoon signs of dogs shitting on their trees. Apparently, this tactic seems to work but I feel like a hypocrite putting up a sign in the yard being like NO DOG SHIT when my dog shits there all the time. And I mean, I know you’re probably thinking like, oh, girl, get one of these:

But I’m still a hypocrite cause in my yard, I don’t pick up my dog’s shit. But I feel like that’s definitely one of my like god given rights as a white person who rents property: I shouldn’t have to pick up my dog’s shit on my lawn. They’re not even shits, they’re like fat caterpillars. I don’t feel like they count. Sure, they would count in someone else’s yard cause they might not see them & be running barefoot or something and that’d be mad rude, but I know my dog’s caterpillars & I know not to go running barefoot out there, so I mean, whatever,
IT’S MYYY LAWWWNNN!
MY DOG CAN SHIT CATERPILLARS ALL OVER IT!
BUT YOUR DOG SHITS ZISSOUS!
LEAVING SHITS THE SIZE OF MY DOG
ON MY OWN FUCKING LAWN
IS MAD RUDE!

UGH! WHAT IS SOCIETY COMING TO!
ALL WE ARE ABOUT IS HATING MUSLIMS & TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT!
LIKE TAKING YOUR DOG ACROSS THE STREET TO SHIT ON MY LAWN!

[Currently Listening 2 That, Good lookin’ out, Ian.]








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