Tangents & The Times

Well, as you can see, my beloved blog has been neglected the last week. I’m sure it’s because you think I’ve been so mad busy with Hello Giggles, unless you’re an informed individual that follows me on Twitter and knows I was gone WINE TASTING!

That’s right, ya’all!
This broke ass bitch got a taste of the good life with my pretend-future in-laws. I don’t really know what else to call Dudefriend’s family, aside from Dudefriend’s family, which really doesn’t lend to any of the sentiment I have for them. I truly enjoy pretending they’re my in-laws, plus I love them so I mean, it makes pretending so much easier.

The great thing about wine tasting is,
IT’S ALL DELICIOUS!
EVEN CHARDONNAY!
DEEEEEELICIOUS!

We spent two days in Sonoma & Napa, which was just phenomenal. I truly suggest visiting. The wine is just superb & the landscape is just as aesthetically pleasing. It’s on average ten dollars a tasting, which can include anywhere between four & six wines.

Here are my incredibly educated reviews
on the six wineries we visited.

V. Satutti – Best Sommelier + Most Pours
Satutti is pretty great because it gives you six tastings, which is great. They also had generous pours & an awesome sommelier named Don. Most people would probably hate Don because he’s a serious salesman but I loved Don because he was mad knowledgeable & wore an ascot like it was nobody’s business.

Dudefriend bought us a BEAUTIFUL Morisoli Cabernet here.
It was both of our favorite wine from this tasting,
which makes sense considering it was like $60 a bottle.

Sterling – Best Tram Ride
The pours were super spread out across the winery, which I wasn’t a fan of, but there was a tram ride! It was like Disneyland for ADULTS (for like, forty-five seconds)! The one good thing about the tastings being spread out, was you did get to see a lot more of what goes into the wine process, like where they ferment it & like, check out some barrels & shit. This tasting though was $25, but it does include a free glass and if you’re anything like me & you’ve broken all your $1 glasses from Ikea, this can be very exciting.

B.R. Cohn – Best Bang
I love this wine, but barely ever buy it because it’s about $15 a bottle at Trader Joe’s. The great thing about this winery is that they waive your tasting fee if you buy, plus the prices at their winery are still affordable (for wineries, I mean, it’s around $20 a bottle still). The grounds are really lovely, they host pool party BBQ’s, have a collection of classic cars & the winery is owned by the manager of the Doobie Brothers, so I mean, if that doesn’t scream chill, I don’t know what does.

If you add all this up,
you can basically deem
B.R. Cohn my future sponsor.
#getatme

St. Francis – Classiest Joint
Loved this winery & tasting. Beautiful facility, educated sommelier and they offered meal pairings! If I was mad fancy, I would have bought a pairing for sure. This winery also offered five, generous pours, so I mean, of course I was like, “YEEEAHHHBUUUUDAAAY!”

Kunde – Weakest Pours
UGH. Honestly, they gave me about the same amount my grandmother would give my cousins while they were teething. It was pathetic. Sure, I know I take gulps as sips, but a small sip is really not enough to get a good taste of a wine. They did comp the tasting with a purchase though & the wine was good so I mean, that’s nice of them.

Valley Of The Moon – Worst Sommelier
The bitch that served us at Valley Of The Moon was a bitch. Sorry, but even her smiles were super catty. I felt like she hated me & I was not drunk enough to be annoying or to warrant that kind of attitude. Sure, maybe she was having a bad day but honestly, she pours wine in Sonoma valley for a living and I’m a decent human being. We could have at least met in the middle. The upside was their sparkling whites, which were totally yummy. If I wasn’t a poor person, I’d definitely keep my fridge stocked. And by fridge, I mean wine cooler thing because obviously if I wasn’t poor, I’d keep my wine in an appropriate temperature controlled appliance.

So yeah, that’s that.
Over all, I had an AMAZING TIME.
Obviously any trip that basically lets me be me
& drink from noon on without any question,
is my kind of trip.

And for those of you who missed it on Hello Giggles,
here is the second episode of my internet sensation, WINE TIME!