ALRIGHT. I Will (Maybe) Lay Off The ChatRoulette After This Screen Shot.

24 02 2010

It’s just great because
the last two lines are him mocking me
because I definitely told that bro to chill on the mic since he wasn’t letting me even type a word in edgewise. God damn angsty, titty hungry teens and their mad copy & paste skills.

I also definitely told him,
“Yeah, that’s fine but can you not f9 me just yet?
Like can you give me a second?”
And he did give me that second
And then I screenshotted this & then
I F9’D THE SHIT OUTTA HIM!
HA! WHO’S F-YOU’ING WHO NOW BIIIITTTCCHHH!
That’s definitely what I said to myself while they were finding me a new stranger to enlighten with my truths of life & gems of the mind.

You Can Click This & It Gets BIGGER. Just Sayin'.

“Lack of tits”.
Psh. Obviously this guy does not read blogs otherwise he would have seen my sweet tits post and maybe been like “Hey, yeah, that’s great- your tits ARE bigger than the girls I’m in seventh grade with!” and I’d be like, “Thanks!” :)

Oh well.
Not everyone is going to think you have sweet tits in your life time. This is a truth I’ve come to know quite well in my nearly [gulp] twenty four years. But you know, you deal with it. You get a sense of humor & a blog & you COPE!

But do not stuff your bikini with your mom’s shoulder pads.
That’s not a good idea.
Blogs > stuffed bikinis.
TRUST.





Hey Guys, Don’t Forget You Can Use ChatRoulette To Educate People Around The World.

23 02 2010

After spending the last day and a half
exploring the mind fuck that is ChatRoulette,
I have decided that it really isn’t that bad.
And not only is it not that bad,
I think we could really use ChatRoulette
FOR GOOD.

Once you get past the fact you’re going to have to skip past a few penises,
(um like you’ve never been to a gas station in Bakersfield? I mean, whatevz not even a big deal & okay, let’s pretend you’re not from California & have never been to Bakersfield, you know you’ve been to at least one shit hole creepy gas station with penis magazines in your life & if you haven’t, you’re either lying or you’re nine in which case how are you literate & why are you on my blog?)
then you can see ChatRoulette for what it is:
AN EDUCATIONAL TOOL!!!

For reals guys, like today after I did half a day’s work & went to the gym, I had some free time before this coffee date I’m now on with my model friend Brenda (um yeah, I’m dropping that shit, I look cool right now!!!).
And you know how I used that free time?
Oh, you know, just totally
LAID SOME KNOWLEDGE ON SOME PARISIAN HOUSE PARTY!

Yep, it was like this room full of French college students
and they were like, WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH LOS ANGELES!

And I was like,
“Here, I will show you.”
And then I was like,
PUFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!
And they were like,
“WHAT IS THAT?!”
And I was like,
“MARIJUANA!”

So, then I got to teach them all about how marijuana is kind of legal here but is totally illegal all at once but for a hundred dollars, you can pay someone to pretend that you are allowed to legally have it. I also told them about how Los Angeles is a dreamworld where you can be anything you want, like a professional Twitter-er, where you work from home & hang out with models & fluffy dogs at sweet coffee shops in your free designer gear because you can manifest anything!!!

AND THEY WERE LIKE,
“LOS ANGELES RULEZ!!!”
AND I WAS LIKE,
“I KNOWWWWWW!!!”

& then
WE DANCED!!!

I’m going to take this moment now and ask you,
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR THE WORLD TODAY?!
Probably nothing. You’re probably fucking around on Buzzfeed looking for something impressive to AIM to that bitch you’ve been chatting up, not making a difference while there are selfless people like me getting stoned & sharing culture with THE WORLD.





CHATROULETTE SCARES ME.

22 02 2010

DUN DUN DUNNN

LIKE SERIOUS GUYS.
IT’S A FACE.
YOU CAN’T JUST LIKE CLICK OUT OF A FACE.
This ain’t no AOL chat room sesh at a seventh grade slumber party.
You don’t just X out and forget A FUCKING FACE!

– – -

UPDATE 6:15pm

& for the record, Rocky is special.

I meant ‘face’ as in it’s really personal.
Like, that shit is FOR REAL.
IT’S THEIR FACE! IT’S A PERSON! A REAL ONE!

I don’t judge people by their faces (aside from friends’ boyfriends’ ex-girlfriends).

- – -

UPDATE 7:14 pm

I LOVE THIS HAHAHHAHAHAAAAA





Friday, On The Real Part Two.

6 03 2010

I convinced everyone we should go on ChatRoulette
since that is obviously the best way to waste
the time between not getting weed & getting weed.

& we ran into a comedian, so that was nice for some of the first timers.

LOLOLOLLLLLZZZ

We also tried to use it to find movie reviews
but people on there don’t seem to be that into the arts.

TRUE STORY.

Annnnyyywayyy,
just wanted to leave you with a little something before
Dudefriend picks me up to go car shopping!
Wow.
COUPLEXCORE, guys, I knowww.
But uh, does any one else want him coming home in a sunburnt orange Element?
I mean, if the mileage is right, fine, sure whatever
but I mean, the answer is ideally & ultimately NO.
NO, WE DO NOT WANT HIM COMING HOME IN AN ORANGE ELEMENT!
So, that’s going to be a cute little Saturday.
Maybe we’ll go get some linens and start quoting Old School.
WHO KNOWS!
ALRIGHT GOTTA GO CHOOSE SOME ADVENTURES!
XOXOXO








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