Well, it happened.
I got my first ticket
for drinking in public.
I am not at all surprised this happened. This was bound to happen, and frankly, I’m amazed it didn’t happen sooner, as I drink in public about as often as my neighborhood bums. In fact, this has been the summer of
“Getting Tickets For Things I’ve Been Doing For Years & Never Got Caught”.
June: Got a ticket for checking my email at a stop light.
July: Got a ticket for not having a front license plate.
August: Got a ticket for drinking kalimotxos on the beach.
For those of you who don’t know this,
a kalimotxo is the drink of my native people, the Basque.
Yes, I am about a quarter Spanish gypsy,
and I love drinking red wine and Coca-cola.
My ticket says, “Drinking red wine and cola in a red cup on the beach”
which I personally take as a testament to my awesomeness,
but whatever this is besides the point.
The point of this blog is I hate this game cops try to play where it’s like,
“HEY, I’M BUSTING YOU, BUT I’M ALSO DOING FAVORS FOR YOU
AND I’M ALSO COOL.”
They say things like,
“I’m going to do you a favor and not give you a misdemeanor and take you away in handcuffs for quietly drinking red wine & cola on the beach.”
Dude, if you were doing me a favor, you would have just taken your dune buggy posse to find some real degenerates causing a ruckus and like, peeing on families & shit. I was just sitting here! Quietly! Drinking some wine, which is only like an oak barrel and six months of a difference between that grape juice shit that kid on the next beach blanket is spilling all over his fucking shorts, screaming like a maniac. Why am I getting a ticket when there are tiny, sugar-hyped hooligans ruining the atmosphere! Makes no sense.
They also say things like,
“I’m not an asshole, why don’t you finish your drink while we fill out this citation that doesn’t involve me taking you down to the station because I am cool like that.”
Although I appreciate the gesture, you’re still an asshole and you’re not cool. If you were not an asshole and you were cool, you would have just believed me when I lied to you & said that it was only Coke in my cup. You could have taken my word, and winked at me, and driven off. That would have been a totally non-asshole and cool thing to do. Maybe fighting real crime too, yeah, add that to the list of totally non-asshole and cool things to do.
I’m fine with the fact I got a ticket.
I’m fine with the fact I got all the tickets I did this summer.
I’ve been breaking these laws for at least five years, minimum.
It was about time someone said I should stop.
What I am not fine with is that cops pretend they are good people
when everyone knows the only good people are firemen!
I’m kidding!
kinda.
[Currently Listening 2 The Fresh & Onlys]
Marissa,
This drink sounds interesting, I’ll have to try it out. How are the hangovers?
Next time I would suggest using a big gulp cup or mcdonalds cup! A red beer cup, if it was a beer cup, is screaming “Alcoholic beverage in here!!!”.
If what they say about bad things happening in trios then your ticket getting days are over this summer!
I don’t really get hangovers from wine because I drink it so often, so I think I’m the wrong person to ask. I’m so used to so much sugar, it’s not a big deal lol. In terms of the red cup, I knew it was a bad idea. Usually we do use less conspicuous containers, but I forgot and was in hurry and the red cups were on top of my fridge… whatever I REGRET NOTHING!
And thank god. I had literally just been waiting to see what the third one was going to be.
How did I not know about red wine and cola until now? I’m glad you’re learning all these valuable lessons…I mean, not having a license plate on the front of your car is f*ckin’ dangerous, yo. ……
I have yet to get the license plate installed. I really don’t see the danger in it, lol.
I’ve got to get on this bandwagon. Cola + wine +=fun. I too get sleepy and hungover from wine but that because I don’t drink it as often as I should. I don’t get what the big deal is with not having a front license plate. My bf doesn’t have one but then again we live in Texas. Sigh! oh, and when is episode three of T&TT coming out?
I think the license plate thing is now because of all the intersection cameras. MEH.
Episode three is coming soon!
Dude, I am waiting for some law enforcement officer to work out the reason I’m giggling like a maniac on a bus on a Saturday night is because my water bottle is, in fact, full of vodka.
also, does this red wine & cola thingo taste as good with diet coke?? normal cola makes me super sugar-silly for about half an hour, then I crash and cry like an overstimulated toddler.
I think it works well with Diet Coke too, but Coke Zero might be the best option if you don’t want to go full bullet.
Yeah, haha–I was being sarcastic…I’m suuuhoooper good at it sooooo….yeah, I should stop.
The straight face threw me off!
marissa you make me happy to be a fireman. im coming to visit. tell dudefriend
yay! <3<3<3
Ever think of keeping your eyes on the road? Following basic laws? Not drinking so often you get ticketed for it?
Just some thoughts. I mean, if the questions you should ask yourself are the same Snooki should ask herself, might be time to start thinking.
If this is the same Black Betta from when I was also on LATFH in 2009, all I have to say is, why did you come back to my blog? You didn’t like my writing then, you don’t like it now, you don’t understand that this is supposed to be humorous, and an exaggeration, so please just stop reading.
Bam. Tell her.
Wine and cola sounds revolting. I know a lot of people who have been busted for this same offense. It’s like taking one for the team.
Yeah, thank you. I’m fine with people not liking my brand of humor or whatever, but I’m a big supporter of “Don’t like it, don’t read it” instead of “Don’t like it, talk a bunch of shit in the comments”.
And I know! I know it sounds bad! But it’s actually pretty good. I urge you to at least give it a whirl. And yeah, sometimes you have to take one for the team! We all break small rules all the time, I always figure getting caught once is just a part of the game.
I think it’s funny when people feel the need to make comments like this. Ha-wow-hope you feel better and I hope you save up enough money to get that stick up your a$$ removed!
Dude, but seriously. I got rolled in a similar sitch, except my Vitamin Water and vodka concoction was nowhere near as classy as yours, but the officer straight up asked if he could sniff my cup…ew. No.
Wine and cola sounds delish. Totally going to try it this weekend. Weee!
Great blog by an american basque.
I’m just a french basque. See You !
[...] DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMPLICATIONS OF SAID BULLSHIT?!THIS MEANS I CAN’T PLAY SMASHBALL NOW!I LOVE SMASHBALL!IT’S MY THIRD FAVORITE THING TO DO ON THE BEACH! RIGHT AFTER DRINKING & TANNING,ONE OF WHICH IS ALREADY FREAKIN’ OUTLAWED!!! [...]