Tangents & The Times

There are a lot of things that suck about being a woman, mostly because society & nature are always trying to fuck up our game. Right now, society & nature are seriously working against me. See, I live in a world in which I am tempted by things like Frito’s bean dip daily and then jabbed at by countless check-out aisle magazines scorning cellulite while trying to buy said bean dip. But what happens when I try to be a healthy person & eat my bean dip & exercise because yes, I shouldn’t be living off dip? You know what happens? I am punished. I am punished for trying to be a picture of moderate health because in the process, I lose all my boobs!!!
I don’t even have boobs to lose to begin with!!!

Sure, I have abs now but who fucking cares if they’re bigger than my tits! How embarrassing for me. I’m just trying to deal with life’s carnal desires while being able to be comfortable wearing shorts and now I’m back to square one:
two rasins on a breadboard.

Just another reason why I don’t believe in God with a capital G. If God existed and was a man, just like everyone says, he would be rewarding me for my efforts! He would make my boobs get bigger the more I worked out, thus giving each & every woman a fair chance to look like a Victoria’s Secret model if they so desired. That’s what a bro who ruled the world would do and you know it!

AND DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
GET OUT OF HERE WITH YOUR SCIENCE.
OKAY, I REALIZE BOOBS ARE MADE OF FAT
SO YEAH DUH, THEY’RE GOING TO GO AWAY
WHEN YOU’RE DOING MAT ROUTINES FIVE TIMES A WEEK.
DOESN’T MEAN ME, OR MY DUDEFRIEND, HAVE TO LIKE IT.

[Currently Listening 2 Warm Waves]