Netflix Watch Instantly is great in theory.
You know, you go on your computer and then POOF!
You get to watch a movie instantly!
But you know what?
That doesn’t ever happen.
You know what happens?
You smoke & then you are like, “Oh, let’s see what’s on Watch Instantly“
& then instead of watching anything instantly,
you end up spending an hour
just trying to find something worth watching or that you haven’t watched a million times or some crap your dad used to watch every god damn Sunday morning or something you fell asleep in during your high school film class or a bunk ass History’s Mysteries- which is a whole other tangent because I fucking love the History channel and their selection is as boring as flannel shirts on boys with beards.
Which DEFEATS THE WHOLE WATCH INSTANTLY notion altogether!
More Like Over 12,000 Pieces Of Shit No One Actually Puts In Their Queues.
It’s a one big cruel joke I fall for basically every night.
Like, oh, here’s Marissa & Dudefriend.
Trying to cuddle up for a good time,
let’s only give them two viable options-
one they will take a chance on & inevitably turn off
& another that they will have to go with because
they’ve already watched all the David Attenborough specials!
And it’s not like there are better recourses.
It’s not like I can go to Hulu & sit through another two minute suicide inducing pitch of horrible ABC family prime time bullshit with an imitation edge of a Jason Bateman flick. Can’t do it. That “Juno meets Gilmore Girls” bit last night literally made me so uneasy I would have gotten up and eaten another ear of corn and six doughnuts just to keep myself busy… but it’s a real pain in the ass to like get dressed and climb down Dudefriend’s loft so I didn’t.
BUT I WOULD HAVE.
Not to mention all the quizzes now to watch shit for free…
WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHICH TWILIGHT CHARACTER I AM?!
I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW!
I’M NOT BUYING YOUR TWILIGHT PARTY FAVORS ON SALE, ALRIGHT?!
I JUST AM GOING TO ANSWER ALL ‘A’ & TELL YOU TO FUCK YOURSELF WHEN YOU STILL WON’T LET ME WATCH IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY !
YOU ASSHOLES!
YOU KNOW I’M DESPERATE!
GOD I H8 U.
Even without the exclamation mark,
I was still yelling right there.
Yelling for Netflix
TO GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER!
PLEASE!
Not that it really matters I guess since Dudefriend made the very valid point,
“I don’t see why you care. You just smoke, have sex and go to sleep anyway.”
Which is true.
BUT IT’S THE PRINCIPLE!
Well, if it makes you feel any better, in Brazil, hulu doesn’t work, and netflix doesn’t exist. And so i settle for watching XXX dubbed in portuguese for the 6th time. Perspective, and things.
I cannot believe how unbelievably on point this post was with my life! It is a serious trick they pull. Or maybe I am just too stoned to pick a movie fast enough. I finally found Seamless the other night ( about the first Vogue fund fashion finalists) and realized I had spent almost 2 hours discovering it! I hope the executives of Netflix somehow find your post so they can get their shiot together
[...] upon a time, I went on a tangent about Netflix Watch Instantly and what a horrible & cruel joke it is because their selection of movies is comparable to that [...]