I just want you to know, when you sent me that email saying you’d been “busy with meetings since 11 am on Wednesday”, that all I wanted to do was send you back this:
FACEBOOK STATUSES DON'T LIE.
Sure, you’re kinda holding up this project for me,
but I ain’t mad at ‘cha.
Girl, I love shoes too.
But you can’t add me as a friend on Facebook & then lie to me.
Because I will find out.
Facebook knows all.
The internet knows all.
And at our company,
I AM THE INTERNET (bitches).
Little advice from me to you:
get on that list making tip.
Do you think I would have accepted your friend request if I didn’t have a way to hide all the tagged photos of me looking like a poster child for Derelicte?
No, definitely wouldn’t.
Definitely need my “bizness” list and its limited infoz.
Definitely do not need my superiors knowing I spend my nights in a drunken stupor, stealing pills and internet connections from my neighbors, looking like Charlie Day on glue while getting high off the fumes of the acetone used to clean my typewriter and caressing its smooth, cold metal surface with my blazing hot wine cheeks, rolling my tongue in succession with the beautiful hum of my cliche-ly named Selectric which I am not even going to tell you because… well, to be frank, it’s clearly none of your business.
It’d be inappropriate.
And that’s why
YOU ALWAYS MAKE A LIST.
Annyyywayyy,
Looking forward to seeing these shoes that I later read on Facebook are dazzling as well as getting my PDFs approved. See you Monday.
Sincerely,
Marissa A. Ross
