Tangents & The Times

I really want to get a Flip cam.
I realized that most of my best tangents are when I’m out on the street,
you know,
in my element,
spouting off about how
EVERYONE HAS DUMPED THEIR TREES IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE.
Really, it seriously upset me. I was exasperated by the amount of energy I exerted not only climbing the like 30% grade hill I live on but the amount of Christmas trees that has piled up between my house and the furniture store, like everyone just opened their fucking doors and rolled their trees down the hill like ‘oh someone will pick them up’ WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN’T FUCKING PICK THEM UP BECAUSE THEY’RE LIKE SEVEN FOOTERS AND I’M FIVE FOUR AND THE TRASHMEN CAN’T GET TO THEM BECAUSE OF ALL THE CARS PARKED IN FRONT OF THE FUCKING TREES. THE BOTTOM OF MY STREET LOOKS LIKE A DUMP BECAUSE OF YOU ASSHOLES I HATE YOU.

Anyway, I was like,
“wow I wish I had a camera right now to capture this raw tangent.”
Cause they’re not that easy to recreate.
So, I want a Flip cam.

My only problem is I’d have to ask people to film me while I was going off, you know? I’m a pretty energetic and theatrical person so I couldn’t film myself and get the whole experience which means someone I’m with would have to do it.
And who am I with all the time?
Oh, right, Dudefriend.

Now, yeah, the first like four times he’d probably think it was cute,
asking him to film me ranting & raving.
But I’m thinking that’d wear off kinda quick.
And then I’m just a bitch getting her Dudefriend to film her all the time because she thinks she has important thoughts and original ideas and shit that people will actually care about.

I don’t want to make him feel like this:

By that I mean I don’t want him feeling like he’s my bitch
while I’m being a bitch making him do shit for me in public.
Cause that dude is tooootally Myley’s bitch.
Like she totally could be carrying her own purse.
It’s not like she’s stuffing her face with a burrito while trying to tie her trendy gladiator sandals. She’s talking on the phone. She’s what, like seventeen? She’s capable of multitasking. She acts while she’s singing right?
ACTS LIKE SHE LISTENS JAY-Z.
UUUUGGGGHHHHHHHH.

Sorry.
I’m still getting over that.

Annyyywayyy,
then again, I can’t very well film myself.
So it’s not like he’d be my bitch, more like my cinematographer.
Can you just tell him that for me so when I bring home the camera he’s like stoked instead of just begrudgingly obliging because I try to bribe him with sexual favors?