So, Dudefriend was apparently NOT stoked on my post with the bag on his head…
Dudefriend: i’m reading it now
Me: its not really that bad
Me: you know i only have luffz for you
Me: & keeeeeeeeiiiisssssses
Dudefriend: luffz ruining my life on the internet
Dudefriend: like I’M the one with issues
[Approximately seven minutes pass]
Me: are you really mad?
Dudefriend: well, i’m really going to have to reassess our relationship and your continued work with [insert my company].
Me: i didn’t do it to hurt you, just to lol.
Dudefriend: well…
Me: BUT I LUFF YOU !
Dudefriend: do you…
Dudefriend: or am i just a character in your internet life
Me: you’re my rock !
Dudefriend: for the amusement of your followers
Me: my mountain
Me: and i want to hug the mountain
Me: fuck that mountain, fuck that mountain… CHALLENGE THE ROCK [reference {because you need to get it}]
Dudefriend: guess what marissa
Me: what
Dudefriend: i wont stand for it
Me: BABY !
Me: say it ain’t sooooooooawhoawhoaaa
Dudefriend: now you’re quoting weezer
Dudefriend: who are you
Me: IT’S THE MORNING. YOU KNOW MY MORNING DECISION MAKING ABILITIES ARE WEAK !!!
Dudefriend: and mine are strong, per usual. I guess when I started this relationship I was under the impression that you maintained an excellent blog and were serious about creating lasting art. You led me to believe that that was the Marissa Ross I met. But now…. I do not even know who you are. You’re a drunk loser living in an imaginary dream world where the shit you do actually matters. Pissing my fortune away on your false illusions of luxury. I wish i could have started all over, with like a resume or something… letting me know how great of an actress you are and how horrible of a person you turned out to be.
Wow.
It’s like if anyone else said that I would have been like,
YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS… BITCH.
But…
I don’t even know where to begin.
Except that I feel a lot like Toni Braxton.
& that I am going to miss mad shower seshs tooooooooo.
& I am going to have to publicly cry out to millions of people
that I need my Dudefriend back.
Ideally with a fifteen piece orchestra, back up singers and an oversized Tahari blazer (cause those skintight numbers with the asymmetrical midriff holes really don’t do it for my spider-esque figure [I'm all appendages- lanky limbs on a one & a half foot slab of torso]).
I don’t really see that panning out though
so a WordPress platform & baggy t’s will have to do.
SOMEWAY
SOMEHOW
(without giving up my rich fantasy life in the blogosphere shrouded in a cloud of weed & wine)
I WILL MAKE THINGS RIGHT. <3
I will say though, I'm really happy he thinks I'm a good actress! I mean, I stopped solely pursuing acting like a year and a half ago so to know I've still got my chops, it really means something. You know, it's nice to hear your college fund wasn't spent in vain.
What a tool. Good riddance to him. He obviously doesn’t know how to handle a fine young thing like yourself.
[...] like a business deal, with that in mind as well as Dudefriend’s recent comments (ie: “I wish i could have started all over, with like a resume or something…”), I have decided to not crawl back to you in tears and shame, but to act from a place of pride and [...]
Dude, I agree with Paulie! His choice of words were quite brutal, to say the least. I sure hope he apologized….you are the same wonderful, fun, marvellous, creative friend that I have known for the last ten+ years! I need to be updated on this whole issue via phone conversation asap!
either way, i love you.
P.S. Shia LeBouf told me he’s faxing his resume to you for the potential boyfriend position. Stand by…