Tangents & The Times

Alright so, here’s the dealy.
I get home from work & it takes everything in me not to tear into the rest of the wine from last night & just write.
But no.
No, not, tonight.
Not now.
MUST GO TO THE GYM.

I decline my gracious roomie’s offer of greenery, strap on some striped tube socks (out of necessity- I’m out of Tide Total Care [& yes, it has to be Total Care. With the green stripe or something indicating it smells like meadows and unicorn dew or something. I don't think I'm snobby about many things but I'm not afraid to say my laundry detergent IS one of them]) and drive my ass to the gym. I go to this gym that’s about a mile away, super it’s convenient but it’s in a Christian center.

When I say “Christian center” it’s literally a “center”. Think a less ostentatious Scientology center that helps the homeless and houses kids on their missions and basically does a bunch of sweet things I don’t have the time/energy/selflessness (but think wistfully upon) to do.

And then I’m way stoked on my gymness and self discipline only to be met with
CLOSED DOORS.

Yeah, the gym was closed.
Which is such bullshit! I really wanted to work out!
That’s the problem with Christians!
They think they can just close their gyms whenever and like, go Bible thumping about Echo Park without any concern for MY need for lean triceps.
But I got over it when I remembered there was wine & weed at home as well as a laptop & stolen internets. That sitch’ can solve just about any state of affairs.

Okay the whole point of this is to simply say
even though when I got home I wasn’t too into it,
once I put the lined lime green running shorts,
I WAS IN ACTIVITY MODE.
Jumping around, kicking & taijiquaning the shit out of my surroundings, talking about kicking ass today because I basically busted a nut all over one of our competitor’s Co-Tweet by hijacking one of their clients with my social media savvy.

HIYAH!!!

I just did my own sports announcement…
ANNNNDDD IN THE GREEN SHORTS, THE NEW HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE INTERNET, SOCIAL MEDIA MAVEN MARISSSSAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA. ROSSSSSSSS !!!
BOOMBOOMPOWFIREWORKSYOWZABABYCRYBOOMPOW !!!

What’s it with gym clothes that make you feel like you could go on the elliptical for two hours WHILE disarming the next Phillip Garrido WHILE scanning Shopbop for Free People on sale ?!
It’s like YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!!!

Wait…

Yeah, I don’t think it’s the gym clothes.
I think it’s the four diet cokes, two coffees & 75ml of Goddess Dressing.
I FEEL LIKE A WINNER!!!

Yeeeeeeeahhh…

I need to go.
I feel drunk from just from blogging again. <3

Dudefriend just came in.
Apparently I'm the most unsexy I've ever looked hahaha.
WHATEVER. I'M BLOGGING.