Tangents & The Times

H8 U s0000 h4rd.

First and foremost, I want to say, it’s totally cool if you don’t want to hang out with me or talk to me or whatever. I get it- when we’re drunk and I’m being ridiculously entertaining, it’s hard not to get my number and tell me you don’t want to hang out with me when in reality, you may just not have the time to fit another contact into your busy schedule of rubbing elbows with third string directors’ assistants and networking with all those infomercial extras. It’s cool, I don’t mind, I’ve been in this town long enough to have a thick skin.

But if you want to be flakey,
I just want to give you a little tip:
STOP TWITTERING.

It’s totally ruining your “OMG I TOTALLY DIDN’T GET THAT! SRRY! THIS WEEKEND?!<3XOXO" next-day-Facebook-comment vibe.

You just blew up my live feed with like sixteen tweets bitching about some broad wearing your Forever21 dress like it was a god damned custom tailored Stella McCartney so you pretending that your IPhone suddenly wasn’t super glued to your sticky touch-screened jam hands all night is a bold stated LIE and an automatic UNFOLLOW IN LIFE.

TAKE THAT MISTER DOUBTING MUSTAFA !

(If you’re a dude and you get this reference without Googling, I will be six times more likely to make out with you. If you’re a girl and you don’t get this reference, well, you obviously were not raised correctly / don’t have the delusional Disney ideals I have.)

I’m hoping that these sorts of instances with Twitter will lead to a widespread epidemic of a little thing called honesty in which we can simply be civil to one another and just have some balls and text back.
Something simple, you know, like
“I’m sorry, I’m busy tonight”
or “I never want to be inside of you again”.

You know, common courtesies.