Alright, let me address the quotations.
“Boyfriend” isn’t boyfriend because I don’t know where things get technical but at some point, someone becomes someone’s boyfriend. I don’t know if that time has happened so I assume it hasn’t even though I’m also kind of convinced I’m too old for this but anyway, right now it’s where I bring him somewhere and we’re all cute and adorable explosions and so then everyone is like, “Oh, is this your boyfriend?” and then I have to awkwardly laugh and be like, “Heh heh, um…” and give him the uneasy, gritted smile before stumbling over myself into the gauchey “sort of” explanation that lets someone know we’ve been participating in disgustingly cute coupley activities and have sex on the reg’ but have yet to touch upon the actual topic.
ANYWAY, so this… dudefriend of mine, he gave me these pills, CEO Brain Power, that he found in his house (or maybe from a crackhead [he does work downtown]) and since I love being all hopped up on caffeine he decided to bestow them upon me.
Naturally, I ate some and felt kinda cracked out and then started studying the bottle with the attention of an Adderall addict.
Does it or does it not look like this silhouette dude is picking his nose ?
Not the kind of business man I want to be.
I want to be knuckle deep in (metaphorical) pussy.
Not boogz.
I really need to start looking at the labels of things I consume.
Cause this… this feels a lot like Speed and not so much like Brain Power.
I don’t know what kind of “business” my “boyfriend” thinks I do.
But speed is for whores & mortgage cats.
And I don’t suck dick for cameras or capped rate loans.
Me & this “boyfriend” are going to need to have a “talk”.
