Alright, so in the past I have written about some of the trials and tribulations I’ve dealt with in bars during my on-going journey into my mid-twenties. I’ve dealt with dudes using moves from The Game on me (and me blogging about how amazing his personality reading skills were only to be humiliated on the internets when everyone commented with DUH THAT’S FROM THE GAME). I’ve handled douche bags trying to utilize my Nikes as conversation starters. I’ve gotten groped and mouth molested but nothing has left me feeling as violated as yesterday.
So, I’m minding my own business, sippin’ on some happy hour house margs, munchin’ some guac’… ain’t no thang.
Then I feel someone staring at me.
He is at the table next to mine.
We meet eyes and he smiles and then he turns away.
Obviously, he has piqued my attention.
He continues doing this for a couple minutes.
Practically rubbernecking from three feet away,
straight up screaming with his stare, “I AM DOWN TO POUND !!!”
At first, it was flattering but then it started to strike fear in my heart, the way he was looking at me so intensely.
Why do members of the male persuasion have to take it from charming to creepy ?!?!
And then, out of nowhere, he begins humping the shit out of his dog, Duke.
And the mother was absolutely oblivious to the publicly perverse happenings…
Yes, that’s right… mother.
Oh, I forgot to mention…
This boy is like two.
Eye fucking me while railing his stuffed dog through his Pampers.
It was like CONTROL YOURSELF !!!
PLZ !!!
Where do you draw the line, you know ?!
I just want to have a good time and not feel like a piece of meat,
is that so much to ask?!
Bars, man… they’re just full of predators.
Hahah! You’re crazy man, I like you, but you’re crazy.
Seriously though, your blogs crack me up. So out there and unpredictable, yet socially pertinent.
I am officially a fan.
~a dif Marissa