After a number of concerned calls, exasperated emails and more than a few ruffled feathers (namely Miss A. Ross’ immediate family), I tried to convince our comically crude columnist to address her public about her rumored reputation of being a “jizzaholic”. She refused on the premise that by commenting she would in fact be conceding that she is a “jizzaholic”.
Look, I don’t go out trying to find jizz to write about. The jizz finds me. It isn’t my fault jizz is prominent in society right now. I’m simply facilitating information and let’s be honest here, Adin, I can talk until I’m blue in the face about Blink-182 or the lionization of Little Joy and no one gives a shit. They’re going to go read it on HRO and that’s that. There are two things that drive traffic, Adin: tits and jizz. And I don’t do n00dz.
As Miss A. Ross’ personal representative I wanted to take this time to assure her audience that she is not by any means a “jizzaholic”. Yes, she is up for the sporadic strangulation or spanking but sipping secretions really isn’t up her ally. She does not have the stomach nor skills for such activities. No one kicks it with her because of her culinary chops. Miss A. Ross is simply a sarcastic young lady with a penchant for the playfully crude. The “jizzaholic” claims are complete rubbish and a simply silly assailment against her good name, especially considering only 2.56% of her posts are jizz-related. A word to the wise: her literature should not be taken at face value nor should her recent There’s Something about Mary semblance, which is completely fluid-free no matter what she claims.
Miss A. Ross does find strange sexual activities, drug-related recreations and illegal endeavors to be widely entertaining but is (for the most part) a very respectable and classy member of society. These erroneous accusations on her éclat should be dispelled in double-time by anyone who is subjected to their horrifying nature.
I apologize to all blood relations & all past/present/future employers, friends, lovers and associates on behalf of Miss A. Ross.
Cordially for the benefit of the ill-imaged,
Adin Hunter
Miss A. Ross’ editor, substitute tweeter and psychic.
[...] subjective journalism. If you are offended by graphic content, please take your eyes elsewhere. Also, just to reiterate: Miss A. Ross is NOT a jizzaholic. Cordial thanks, Adin Hunter Miss A. Ross’ editor, handstand spotter & Digital Playground [...]