Hipsters: One crushed velvet pair of pants away from Austin D. Powers.
1. He’s a “photographer”– meaning he shags a lot of bitches by telling them he wants to “take pictures” of them.
2. Loves his ladies in lame or body suits (ie: Vanessa Kensington).
3. Looks like Roman Polanski and acts like a flamboyant post-metro nineteen year old with an ego that demands epic musical introductions.
4. He’s been really working on his personal brand, with plenty of catch-phrases and signature moves.
5. Loves to Video Chat (you may recall Austin logging onto AOL to video chat with Basil Exposition).
The ones who don’t turn into Austin Powers are likely to become:
1. Daft Punk
2. The Gin Blossoms
3. MC Hammer
The only upside:
The end of the ironic-seventies bullshit, with the complete dissolution of anything done “because it’s funny”. Funny to who ? Funny to that heroin addict that also saw that obscure seventies porn you’re doing a homage to by wearing that ridiculous denim vest ? And your mustache is creepy.
And take off that silly ass hat.
