Tangents & The Times

The Jam: The Dark Knight

With an IMAX, start with tons of potential and high expectations. Add two of Hollywood’s most talented men, a step-up from Katie Holmes and that same charming smile of Nick Naylor. Add some film alumni; mix well. Seep in defined acting chops. Add action; cut it up. Suspend disbelief; stir constantly. Boil with disappointing dialogue and cheesy, unbelievable monologues. Process for two hours and thirty-two minutes before setting the jars out on the shelves to be ferociously consumed by the masses.

Tastes a Lot Like: Bartlett Harlequin Jam- everything about it is seemingly delicious and then you have to go and add those damn fake, contrived Maraschino cherries.

Let’s start with Batman Begins. Well written and excellently executed, the film upped the ante in the latex smothered superhero department. Christian Bale is by far one of the supreme and dedicated talents in Hollywood (hello, did anyone see the The Machinist?) and brought a true sense of soul to the identity conflicted protagonist Bruce Wayne… not to mention a gym bag full of good looks. With a foundation like Begins, it’s hard to imagine its successor being anything but stellar.
The Dark Knight tells the tale of Batman and his escapades with the Joker. When I say “escapades” this includes a number of intense action sequences taking place in the streets and (watch out!) the sky. Not being much of an action fan myself, they were still incredible. It also has exactly what you want in a cast. Christian Bale still looks good in any suit from Bat to Gucci and performs so wholeheartedly it resonates within his relationships with all the characters. That carton of lukewarm milk casually known as the beard of Tom-Kat was rightfully replaced with a woman of substance and ability- Maggie Gyllenhaal. Aaron Eckhart is as honorably heartwarming as ever (mostly). Morgan Freeman and Michael Cane are genuinely talented gentlemen, as always. Heath was obviously the best in show. Maniacal and creepy, he was the epitome of The Joker. From his disgusting mannerisms to his eerie cadence, he filled the purple suit first worn by Jack Nicholson (much to his dismay) with an extra ounce of evil. All the performances were great- especially given the material.
Yes, that was an allusion to the fact that director Christopher Nolan and brother Jonathan are not writers. Look, I know I’m going into this not being able to believe every motorcycle/bus/plane/ferry/starship-cruiser chase I see. But if you have believable characters, I will totally eat up any technological tomfoolery scheme or military machine mumbojumbo. Unfortunately, the dialogue was cliché and there were a number of moments where more than a few of the audience members flat laughed out loud. I particularly liked the “We’ve got company!” sort of fillers and cheap speeches. I expected more from the good citizens of Gotham.
Besides the lame convos and the fact it is about two and a half hours long, it’s good. If you liked the first one, you should go. If you’re looking to get laid, this is a good date movie- you got your action, you got a nice little romantic through line, you got Gary Oldman; you’re set. Unless it’s some liberal babe who hates… Gary Oldman. Because no self-respecting human being hates Batman. And that’s a fact.